I am glad to hear that you are trying to set boundaries. You are so brave for doing so. I can only imagine how hard it must be, and scary.. (((((((((hugs))))))))))
I do think that you could call those hotlines, though. Even if he might not have abused you physically (though you spoke about some occations?), I am sure that they know how to deal with emotional abuse too... I can not describe how proud I am of you for dealing with this, trying to change stuff, writing, contacting your friend. Keep doing so. You are worth so much, and you deserve to be treated better than this.
Lots of love,
"A journey of a thousand miles begins with just one step." - Lao Tsu -
"I get up. I walk. I fall down. Meanwhile, I keep dancing." - Hillel -