Benefits of Anger
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Benefits of Anger

This is a discussion on Benefits of Anger within the Abuse forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; I'm learning to embrace "negative" emotions and not judge them as bad. Pain is one thing, suffering another. Suffering is ...

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Old 03-09-18, 03:26 PM   #1
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Default Benefits of Anger

I'm learning to embrace "negative" emotions and not judge them as bad. Pain is one thing, suffering another. Suffering is resistance to pain. Thinking Willingness Therapy.

But I don't like anger. I see it as bad.

How can I embrace this emotion?

I know it's better than despair/depression/helplessness or apathy.

How else?
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Old 03-09-18, 08:19 PM   #2
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O.K..anger for me is often an emotional feeling I mostly cannot get directly under control..I have been angry at people,in an abusive relationship towards an ex partner,angry at myself etc,anger showed me more self insight because I looked for solutions,I am against venting anger since I think it intensifies things,I bottled up and thats not an answer either,if we look at the reasons why anger feelings start we often come to a conflict within our self,I bet anger is doublefaced..can tears release anger?I doubt it?I easily cry and I often think that it releases a stress on me,does anger relief creates optimism?I think anger can be very negative or destructive if a solution is not found and turns into a self rage,I can be irritated if my pc does not start of works,in a traffic jam etc..I noticed often in myself an anger if I turn into my 20% mood as I call it ..then I blurt out or lash out with words which is not a perfect issue either..we all get angry sometimes,I get angry at the world and the things which go wrong and feel helpless against it,I often think life is pointless since we cannot change or do anything which brings a real change and often I don't care because it seems like an endless circle..anger can be different for all of us because of the reason why etc...the feeling of getting angry always leaves us with an emptiness,so how do we cope with it?so..to the OP i would say this=learning to embrace negative emotions needs in the first place insight in yourself,
determination and willpower to let anger into your mind maybe but it should not take over your way of thinking and overwhelm your actions..sure...pain and suffering needs to be looked at==mental pain or bodily pain are very different feelings,i reckon on this forum lots of people suffer mental pain..it often leads to depression and then anger about the state we feel when asking ourselves what's wrong..don't you all think that we should release anger in such a way that it uplifts us from a darker sight of us into a better more positive one?some people cannot get angry at an asshole who gives trouble because they fear retaliation or a backlash,in that case i should kick a punchbag like boxers use(joke)i bet in some cases anger shows us our deeeper insight and if we can control anger it brings us 1 step further...but..it's not all that easy to control anger,at least we can try...
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Old 03-10-18, 02:41 AM   #3
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Classifying my anger helps me. You have to ask yourself is it okay for me to be angry right now or am I being irrational? Based on whatever your answer is, adjust your following actions accordingly. You don't even have to act on the emotion at all, if the situation doesn't call for it. I use my emotions to help me answer questions about myself and others. I think it's good to ask yourself why you feel a certain way. It helps you understand yourself. Even if you find that your anger is irrational, forgive yourself and just tell yourself to be more self-aware if possible in the future. It's okay to not get it right all the time. No need to be too self-critical.
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Old 03-10-18, 09:48 AM   #4
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Should I just avoid those who anger me?
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Old 03-10-18, 01:09 PM   #5
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I do lol but sometimes one can not do that. Work and family forces us to deal with people we don't like. Anger sounds like a big trigger for you. If you can healthily manage the effects of that trigger, you're fine. If you cannot, you'll have to keep trying to find other ways. I try to avoid it, because why put myself through that.
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Old 03-10-18, 04:58 PM   #6
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So what do you do when you can't cut off difficult people?
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Old 03-10-18, 05:53 PM   #7
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Like I said. Ask yourself why you are angry. I usually wait for it to pass.
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Old 06-17-20, 02:02 AM   #8
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Just my two cents worth:

Quote:
Originally Posted by SensualGirl View Post
Should I just avoid those who anger me?
If they do this all the time and are doing it deliberately, then yes, it may be a good idea.

Quote:
Originally Posted by SensualGirl View Post
So what do you do when you can't cut off difficult people?
Best that can be done is to at least limit your contact with them for the amount of time that's absolutely necessary. Stay civil (agreed it's much easier said than done), but don't get too chummy with them. If they're co-workers, then at the end of the work day, get out of there and go somewhere relaxing for yourself so you can recharge for the following day. Try not to get involved in their drama and above all, refrain from talking about them as they're not worth the hassles.

If they're family, keep them at an arm's length (the longer the better) and again, refrain from talking about them. Again, not easy (been there myself) but it may help.

Last edited by DPG1; 06-17-20 at 02:03 AM. Reason: Adding
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Old 06-18-20, 05:22 AM   #9
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I do agree with DPG here to this extent if anger is a way of power for the one who inflicts it on another person,it should be dealt with..but how do we tackle it?ignoring it is not so evident because like the OP says anger can be related to suffering,more mental then bodily=i believe that lots of bullies use anger in a way to get to their goal==intentionally putting mental pressure for some reason which i think is very wrong because anger is like something which disturbs our ways of thinking==it creates counter anger,frustration and often depression,cutting off difficult people?sure=i think the answer here is becoming or being a total loner,act reclusive,lots of bullies use drama to reach their goals,they often know the weak points of their victims,so for example if i get a personal attack,do i just have to forget about it and swallow the insults?i think a bullie should be answerd to with a counter attack,but not everyone will do this because they are afraid of the consequences,i reckon lots of pain is induced by offering the other cheek,very often it's useless to say oh..someone hurts me?why?wherefor?how do i react to it?just my 2 cents...i think this topic is worth discussing because in my opinion it happens more then we think in daily life..TTL is a discussion forum but i do not see too many topics nowadays...is TTL asleep?
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