abused as a child, depression, confused sexuality
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abused as a child, depression, confused sexuality

This is a discussion on abused as a child, depression, confused sexuality within the Abuse forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; I actually don't know how to state my problems. I am a 26 year old man from South Asia. As ...

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Old 07-19-14, 03:56 AM   #1
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Post abused as a child, depression, confused sexuality

I actually don't know how to state my problems. I am a 26 year old man from South Asia. As a child, I was sexually abused by a male relative. Though I was almost 14 years old back then, I didn't have any idea about sex or reproduction. I didn't tell about the incident to anybody. Soon after this I accidentally discovered masturbation and I used to love masturbating with a pillow while fantasizing myself as a dominant heterosexual male partner. However, in recent years my interest has been changed to homosexual contents on internet, especially the BDSM stories that contains acts that I cannot even think of practicing in real life. Now, I cannot sleep without masturbating two times in a row at night while browsing BDSM stories on my mobile. I had a job, but it's been one year I resigned from it for some reasons, but the masturbation problem seems to have gotten worse after I left my job. A few girls approached me in different times but I did not find them attractive though I find many other girls sexy.
Nowadays, I am always obsessing on losing weight and having a six pack. Looking at the pictures of male models arouses me. Though I feel it's an urge to look like those models rather than the urge to have sex with them.
Could you please comment on my situation? I am getting very little sleep at night due to my masturbation problem and waking up very late in the day. As a result, I feel that I am letting go a number of opportunities by wasting time (such as applying to new jobs, doing household works etc).
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Old 07-19-14, 04:51 AM   #2
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Well, addiction to masturbation is more and more common in world, you could try shrinking that time that you spend masturbating and watching/reading naughty stuff. To me you sound like bi-curious, likes women and has interest in guys. Try cleaning your mind from sexual thoughts, maybe meditation?
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Old 07-19-14, 04:53 AM   #3
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Oh and sorry to hear about your abusing :(
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Old 07-19-14, 07:32 AM   #4
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It does sounds like its an addiction that has started and I agree, the time spent doing it should be limited if its causing neglect in other areas.

I'm not so sure its bi curious though as some people can get aroused by visual representation of something sexual without ever wanting to actually perform with who their seeing or even perform at all. The question that comes to mind is, is it bothering you in any way that you get aroused by homosexual material?
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Old 07-19-14, 02:32 PM   #5
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Originally Posted by nsdimitrije View Post
Oh and sorry to hear about your abusing :(
thanks for your reply. i will try meditation. but the problem is i cannot get any sleep withut masturbation, and feel restless without those naughty staffs on my mobile. take care.
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Old 07-19-14, 02:33 PM   #6
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It does sounds like its an addiction that has started and I agree, the time spent doing it should be limited if its causing neglect in other areas.

I'm not so sure its bi curious though as some people can get aroused by visual representation of something sexual without ever wanting to actually perform with who their seeing or even perform at all. The question that comes to mind is, is it bothering you in any way that you get aroused by homosexual material?
thanks. bi curious is a new term to me. I will google it to understand. take care.
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Old 07-19-14, 03:51 PM   #7
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Originally Posted by nsdimitrije View Post
Well, addiction to masturbation is more and more common in world, you could try shrinking that time that you spend masturbating and watching/reading naughty stuff. To me you sound like bi-curious, likes women and has interest in guys. Try cleaning your mind from sexual thoughts, maybe meditation?
I couldn't agree more with you. The over arousal can do more harm than good sometime. I've cut way back, and I'm much better with that.
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Old 07-19-14, 03:51 PM   #8
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I'm also sorry about your abuse.
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