just thoughts

stillalive · 07-14-2010, 01:48 PM

So over the past few months, I have realised, that the last few years has been a big joke. Pretending everything is normal and ok, but in fact it is bad. I don't want to experience life anymore. I've seen everything. I don't know why i am here, there is nothing here for me. There are no advantages of me being alive. I am just slipping through the days, waiting for the moment of my demise. My mind is trapped in this body, I am trapped in my mind. It feels good and conforting when i think about my death. I do not feel sad about my death, it is a celebration of entering a new reality. I cannot stop thinking about death, it is the only thing I want, its all i think about these days. I have no purpose, no focus, no direction, just a nobody doing nothing. When i wake up the next morning it baffles me that i'm still consious. a new day with the same old problems. I told people close to me my problems, they have forgotton about it, but the struggle continues for me, their ignorance is unbelievable, bless them, they do not think it is serious enough, i beg to differ. I wonder if they were me for a month, would their opinions change? Its just dull and misty, and no end to it!

TooMuch · 07-15-2010, 04:18 AM

I'm the same way. I'm over 40 years old and I'm wondering is this it? I feel my life has no purpose and now I don't have a future. When I was younger I had so much more hope and the future was so bright. I have no hope anymore. I don't get why I'm alive. I'm alive to live alone? I'm alive to take care of this cat my sister left me? I don't have anything to live for anymore. Everyday I wake up, go to work, come home, alone. For what?
I get what you're talking about. It's already the middle of July, time goes by quickly.

depression · 07-15-2010, 05:25 AM

I feel you guys <3

funnybone · 07-15-2010, 12:05 PM

im only 18 but i know how constant repitition can litararly kill you inside.
id suggest getting a friend and both of you doing somthing crazy, say skydiving, or less bonkers like kayaking, sailing.... just both getting into a car find a very long strech of road and just drive with the windows down really fast

.

you could go out regulaly with friends, just save i bit of money and do somthing bonkers, or otherwise when your 80 your gonna regret not doing somthing like the obove, and itll eat atya.

so find sumin crazy and enjoy yourselfs

TooMuch · 07-15-2010, 12:42 PM

StillAlive, I would say FunnyBone is on the right track here. I, myself have been thinking of doing something unusual lately. We do need that in our lives.

whatsnext · 07-16-2010, 02:16 PM

story of my life

stillalive · 07-17-2010, 09:20 AM

i know i feel like i want to do something really wild and crazy out of my comfort zone like just go to a haunted castle for a weekend and stay there with a few people and do ghost hunting or somethin. Thank you TooMuch, depression, funnybone and whatsnext.