My best friend is avoiding me
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My best friend is avoiding me

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Old 01-07-09, 10:54 PM   #1
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I'm suffering from depression, as you could probably tell, and I'd thought I had good solid friends who could help me with this. I was wrong.

So, as I've been feeling worse and worse, I've starting thinking more abotu suicide, something that scared me very badly. I felt the need to talk to my friends, but if I approached the subject, I learned some things about them. One's boyfriend has attempted suicide 3 times and doesn't like to talk about it, another has actually tried suicide and it's a dark place I don't want to return them to. The others and I just aren't close enough for that to work. There was one person left. It happened to be the one I'm in love with.

He's my best friend. Let's call him "Mutton" (various reasons). I told Mutton that every once in a while, I think about suicide. He said he did too, but we knew it wasn't a valid way out. We kind of brushed it aside as a joke. As it got more serious, I told him about it and (in the 5 minutes he was available) he told me it wasn't healthy and I needed to see someone. Since then, he hasn't said a word and I think he's avoiding me. I barely see him during the day and we don't talk then. He's always busy and when he is online, it seems like he never talks to me unless I talk to him. He goes away and doesn't come back (been happening for a while tho). This was our most recent conversation:

Me: Hey
Mutton: lol hey
Me: wasup?
Mutton: Not much. Kinda bored XD
Me: Same, but I found a great forum.

That's it. Is he just in shock? I understand that, but it's making me upset and I feel like I've ruined our friendship. I feel so alone. I don't want to scare him, but I've scared myself so badly that I need to tell someone and he was the closest person I could talk to...
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Old 01-08-09, 12:14 AM   #2
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its possible, it's hard to say though because I don't know what Mutton's like. it would be hard but maybe you can just genuinely ask him and be open about it? otherwise you'll probably just keep yourself guessing
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Old 01-08-09, 12:28 AM   #3
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Apparently, he was just busy with hw...That just makes me feel insignificant. I was almost hoping it was the scared one. Damn.
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Old 01-08-09, 01:00 AM   #4
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So you think he's just brushing you off then? I thought hw was important though...
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Old 01-11-09, 08:43 PM   #5
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I can see where you're coming from, thinking that your friend is avoiding you, but it could have been a lot of things that are causing his actions. He might not really know enough about depression and suicide in order to really help you, he might be afraid for you and of saying the wrong thing, or he might genuinely be avoiding you in order to maybe avoid some of the stuff he's going through. He might be really confused and not know what to do, so I think that it might be a good idea to talk to him about how you just need to know that he's there and willing to just talk to you when things get tough. He might have a lot of homework, (I always did when my friend wanted to talk to me about my depression) so she used to call me when she knew that I wouldn't be doing Homework, 2Am on a Saturday usually, but if your friend likes to sleep, then maybe ask to meet up with him before school one morning, or maybe to go see a movie and get some pizza. Just find a way to start a conversation and hope he reciprocates. Sorry about the rambling, but I know exactly where you're coming from with this one, wanting to talk to a friend but they're all doing something important. Hope this helps a little.
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Old 01-20-09, 11:35 PM   #6
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Thanks, but I tried that and got the same "You can tell me anything anytime." I just told him I liked him and I would just avoid him for a bit. He's ok with it. He ended by telling me I could still talk to him about stuff if I needed to and I'm not sure how I feel about that.
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