How do you know it's time to change a therapist?
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How do you know it's time to change a therapist?

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Old 03-06-16, 01:53 PM   #1
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So, how do you know if it's time to change a therapist? What are the common signs?
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Old 03-16-16, 12:20 AM   #2
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I was seeing a cognitive-behavioral therapist this past December-January. It was really my first time seeing a therapist ever. I visited this therapist 3 times. In the end, I couldn't afford the copay.

However, I felt like I didn't get the full experience with the therapy, since my visits were spaced out every other week. I couldn't really justify the therapy for the amount of money I was spending. The money resulted in more stress than the therapy helped.

On my third and last visit with this therapist, I felt a lack of fulfillment. While this feeling may have gone away if I had the means to keep seeing them, I was still generally feeling disconnected from them. I felt like they did most the talking and I didn't have enough time to really explain myself or for them to understand me as a whole. I felt like I never fully became comfortable and answered their questions the way I wanted.

So, I've in a sense switched, found another option.

I am about to see a therapist at my school this week for the first time. They are younger, new, and their approach is described as "holistic," or taking the whole individual into consideration through therapy. It's also a benefit of my tuition so the monetary stress won't be there.

Only you will know when it's time to switch. The reasons why I switched may be completely different than your experiences. But I would say if you feel restless or like you are not being fully considered, it would be a good time to think about switching.
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Old 03-16-16, 10:59 PM   #3
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Originally Posted by missread View Post
I was seeing a cognitive-behavioral therapist this past December-January. It was really my first time seeing a therapist ever. I visited this therapist 3 times. In the end, I couldn't afford the copay.

However, I felt like I didn't get the full experience with the therapy, since my visits were spaced out every other week. I couldn't really justify the therapy for the amount of money I was spending. The money resulted in more stress than the therapy helped.

On my third and last visit with this therapist, I felt a lack of fulfillment. While this feeling may have gone away if I had the means to keep seeing them, I was still generally feeling disconnected from them. I felt like they did most the talking and I didn't have enough time to really explain myself or for them to understand me as a whole. I felt like I never fully became comfortable and answered their questions the way I wanted.
this has been my experience with most of the therapists I've seen. A lot of them take too much of an educational CBT-focused approach, which I find to be useless. I want to discuss my problems in depth, but I never get the chance. I recently saw a "social worker" for 2 sessions and the experience was much better. She actually made the effort to understand my problems and empathize in addition to suggesting solutions. In my opinion, many therapists take too much of a scientific approach.
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Old 03-17-16, 09:21 PM   #4
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@Black Sheep-
You're right! Therapists can be very scientific (I see it in my psychology professors at school) and it's sometimes intimidating. How did you go about finding a good social worker?
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Old 03-18-16, 04:24 PM   #5
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Well, I have a lot of those problems

Meetings indeed were every other week untill the last one, when she told me to come next week (well, mostly because I am at school moost of her worktime, since she is state founded therapist)
I generally rarely talk about emotions, so it is hard to opoen up with therapist, and when I open up and decide to say something, it's just "Sorry, time's up, we'll finish next time" which, of course doesn't happen
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Old 03-25-16, 02:03 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shacke View Post
So, how do you know if it's time to change a therapist? What are the common signs?
Hi, Shacke. I don't know if there are many common signs. There must be - as people we all can't be that terminally unique.

But I'd like to first encourage you to trust your own inner instincts. Is your intuition or gut telling you to change?

The way I see it, there are dozens of therapies and there are hundreds of therapists. Each one brings their own unique gifts (and weaknesses) to their practice. Just like friends, we are not all going to like/respond to the same people. Same goes for therapists.

Case in point: I had a previous therapist who used "internal family systems" with me. It was fine, we did a lot of work. But my new therapist, who also uses IFS, has a really different approach with it, and I find I am responding so far even more with it. Same therapy modality, different practitioner, different experience as a client.

Also, we as individuals change over the years and it would make sense that our therapy needs can also change. I am quite different as a "client" in therapy now than what I was 10 years ago.

Some signs I might think are common or usual for a less than perfect fit with a therapist might be: resentment, impatience, that empty feeling that comes when there is no interpersonal connection or "vibe", making excuses to avoid therapy appointments.

Yes, some of these signs might also indicate a lack of readiness to make positive changes, which is also normal in us humans. But I trust your ability to be honest with yourself. And if your inner voice is saying "not a good fit", I would encourage you to trust that.
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Old 03-25-16, 04:06 PM   #7
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Well, no, I don't feel something is wrong. I just wasn't feeling better AT ALL, so I was thinking about changing therapist. But I guess I menaged to open up a bit, so things seems good AT . I'm actually looking foward next appointment, which is so weird. But thanks for the help guys
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Old 04-30-16, 04:26 AM   #8
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When to change a therapist: if they seriously offend you and don't seem to understand how or why you are offended.
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Old 04-03-17, 11:43 AM   #9
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To the OP, this is my method.

You got 5 sessions, to show me real progress on Problem X. You can't show progress on helping me on this problem in 5 sessions, then I ask them why should I keep paying them 1 hour of my time and my money. I remind them am not looking for a perfect solution, heck am not even looking for a solution. Am looking for legwork on there part.

They talk about how this is project that "we" are striving to solve and it will take time. While in the business world, academic world, and basically everywhere else if your not helping with project then you get cut and replaced.

I also auto quit if someone wants to move away from my problem. You see me for an hour once a week. You get all the time to step back that you need, when that clock starts for my session, were spending one hour about my problem. You want to talk about something else cause you didn't prep, while to bad.

Is it cut throat? Yes and I don't apologize for it at all. I want to improve my life and am coming to you for help. If you can't fulfill that then why should I stay? Your taking time out of my day, were I have chance to fix myself by accident, and your talking money out of my pocket for work you can't do. You know what another word for someone who takes money from someone in need of help and does nothing? Fraudster.

Last edited by TheFailedOne; 04-03-17 at 11:46 AM.
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