I think i’m just finished. I have no more motivation.. im an alcoholic, I am 28 years old and still live with my parents. I have absolutely no life besides work which i Did not go into today without calling them, so I wouldnt be surprised if ive lost that as well. I have 0 friends and I feel like im stumbling down an endless road that leads to nowhere. There is nothing that makes me happy, nothing i am proud of, and overall I honestly just fucking hate myself. I always feel like I say the wrong thing whenever i speak so I just try to avoid talking to anyone. The healthcare system is bullshit here in the U.S. I should probably be on meds and go see a therapist, but i dont have the money for that and quite frankly i lack any motivation to get up and try. Giving up seems like the easiest option right now. Whats the fucking point??

Every road take us someplace. but we don't always know what await us at the end of the road we are walking in. If you can't find something that makes you happy then maybe you should create one yourself. The fact that you came here and made this thread shows that you still have motivation.

Big hugs and love to you EstPr0phet...
Thank you for coming here and letting some of yourself free. This is a great community of supportive folks. I am new here too.
I wish I could hold your hands and give you a hug, as this is a start to a new beginning.

Have you tried going to low-income clinics? People usually pay very little for the appointments and medications.

Although it's hard, it's important to carry on and keep trying. Don't try too hard though, as I've found sometimes the more I try the worse things get. Also, I tend to wear myself out and end up back to square one. I now pace myself. It's not always through lack of trying that things don't work out. Sometimes, it's reasons beyond our control. I just do what I can.

I don't like living, but I try to find ways of dealing with it. Things like mindfulness, taking one day at a time, trying for the future by doing something I can do about it in the present then not dwelling on it, distracting myself, puzzles, counting things etc.

Sometimes I get a tolerance to a particular coping mechanism and have to take a break from it and try something else for a while. I haven't got the courage to commit suicide, so I just try to muddle through life, the best I can.

I think that's all you can do. If you lie there and give up, you will just sink lower (I've tried this. Thinking I could just lie there and die, but didn't. Things just got worse. Unfortunately, although life is horrible, it can get worse and will do, if you do nothing).

I wouldn't recommend suicide, as it can go horribly wrong. Even if you succeed, it could be painful and frightening.

Try doing one small thing in this moment to improve your life and rake it from there. One step at a time.

What kind of health problems do you have?

I know how hard it is to feel this way. You seem to be very critical of yourself, avoid this. As to make friends you need to have something in common and spend time together to establish ties. If you feel uncertain regarding the road you want to follow, just ask yourself what makes your heart happy and do it. Immerse yourself in a supportive environment. Target your weak spots. Where are you consistently losing? Seek out mentors. Look for a therapist or mentor who has a fulfilling life, that is, if you notice that the person is problematic, full of strange or spiteful, extreme or biased lines. If you find that your therapist is most unfortunate that you pause to note the presence of professional make sense. Prefer someone that avoids small talk. Someone who treat the difficulties of own therapeutic relationship. etc.