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This is a discussion on The Weight within the Suicide forums, part of the Suicide Forums category; oh angie, i am so sorry that this is happening. i just wanted to let you know that i care ...

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Old 05-23-16, 11:49 PM   #21
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oh angie, i am so sorry that this is happening. i just wanted to let you know that i care and don't want you to suffer. is there something on my end i can help with? do some research for you or something?
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Old 05-24-16, 09:45 AM   #22
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Thanks dax that means a lot to me!!

Last night my roommate did not even say hi to me when she came home which is unusual. Perhaps it is for the best that I am moving. I still feel like I cannot cope with all the obstacles that keep piling up. Not sure whether or not she is just a b or whether conflict makes her feel uncomfortable. Either one is plausible. I am to an age where I have no time for this crap.

Today I am considering hospitalization. I had a real hard time focusing at work yesterday too.
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Old 05-24-16, 10:52 PM   #23
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Now my back is tweaked and I am in a LOT of pain. I can't take this any more. It is one more thing to Mount Everest that has gone wrong.
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Old 05-27-16, 06:38 PM   #24
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Old 05-27-16, 11:50 PM   #25
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Another frustrating day with the VA. for the past 30 days my doctor has been wondering why the doctor she was suppose to email about my case...why the email kept coming back as a message delivery failure. She wrote down the wrong freaking email! The worst part is is that it was a university email and she left out the "a"

Just found out by a doctor today when he looked at my MRI that had been done 6 months ago that I need a different test to look at whether I truly have pelvic congestion syndrome. This is somewhat hopeful and really pisses me off. The past six months could have perhaps been avoided if some flipping doctor would have suggested this. Instead all this time I have gotten "What do you want me to do?" "You will swell the rest of your life so just deal with it?" "There is nothing left to do." I have been telling them there have been more tests to run and they just sat there. Meanwhile my quality of life has been awful, been suicidal, gained massive amount of weight, am non-functional, etc. I would have liked this option months ago and I know the more you wait on edema treatment the harder it is to treat.

I found out that if it is pelvic congestion than they would put some coils in my abdomen to loosen up some things in there in order to make it work properly. I think this may be the ticket as I have had unexplained abdominal pain for a long time and my stomach has always felt tight...even doctors and massage therapists have told me so.

If it is not that then it could be lymphedema and I am def hoping it is not that as there is no cure. Not to mention the treatment avenues I have tried that have not worked are the treatment avenues that are suppose to help people with lymphedema.

I just hate the VA. I wish I had my own insurance.

And FromTheHeart: Thank you for all the virtual hugs. I truly appreciated it. I know that you get it.
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Old 05-28-16, 12:10 AM   #26
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** the "a" in a state name.

Forgot to finish the sentence. I have not been concentrating lately.
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Old 05-28-16, 04:26 AM   #27
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Angie, I will pray that you will have some sort of relief coming soon. I can't believe how incompetent those doctors are. I mean seriously.....a fucking "a" and they couldn't check with you first about the email address? It's not brain surgery! Please keep us informed how things go. (((((((hugs))))))))
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Old 05-28-16, 11:56 AM   #28
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I know dax. I just don't understand it. It is Twilight Zone material. They knew how much I was suffering and then this. You know how with college universities with the the name of the state in it...well they spelled the state incorrectly. How stupid....thank you for the prayers and the hugs. I truly appreciate them. I am writing the director all that has transpired in as much detail as I possibly can. I cannot make this stuff up.

to you too!
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Old 05-29-16, 06:28 PM   #29
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It is great to hear they are going to take another look, Angie. However, maybe it is better going in with an open mind. Don't jump to conclusions beforehand, let the doctors do their job. Do you have an appointment already?
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Old 05-29-16, 09:45 PM   #30
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No I do not have any appointments yet and that process is quite slow. I really do appreciate your words of encouragement!!

I hate to be a curmudgeon about this but all this could have been avoided. Months of debilitating depression and depression that has continued could have been avoided 6 months ago if doctors were doing their jobs. I am still incredibly depressed despite this better news. I am still having thoughts of suicide and still non-functioning. I do not see my life getting any better. To them my suffering is no big deal. God help you if you have unexplained symptoms at the VA because they just do not want to deal with you.

Even with this better news I just want to die. With my luck this test will come back normal too.....
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