So things continue to be not so great.
There is a small positive thing but it will not go much of anywhere since I know the VA. FINALLY after almost two years of advocating someone at the VA listened to me and is doing something about it. For me it is just not enough as I really think I should get something for pain and emotional distress throughout the year.
Anyway, so I am waiting on that. My job is not going well and as of today am I considering putting in my notice. My job feels like it is acceptable to talk to supervisors any which way they want with no consequences (I am a supervisor). Because I think there should be some sort of hierarchy or structure or professional decorum I get the response that that is just my military talking. I have been treated like a punching bag from people that are not supervisors and there are no consequences. Today is another day like that I now I am considering quitting. I need this job as I finally bought insurance in addition to the crap job the VA did for me. This is a job where I can show up looking like I am depressed and nonfunctional and still have a job so....
I also have a problem with a tooth probably because I have been non functionally depressed for so long that that does not surprise me.
I still have chronic suicidal thoughts. I do not even recognize myself physically or mentally and have not for months.