Suicide
Take This Life  

Go Back   Take This Life > Challenges > Suicide Forums > Suicide


Suicide

This is a discussion on Suicide within the Suicide forums, part of the Suicide Forums category; Two hours sleep last night; my mind is in another place while still trying to maintain what could only be ...

join us
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 03-09-12, 11:37 AM   #1
New Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Posts: 3
Default Suicide

Two hours sleep last night; my mind is in another place while still trying to maintain what could only be a vestigial semblance of normalcy, for how would people react if I tell them that I started today harming myself: that's just not normal coffee talk. I'm tired; drained. I have very little in common with others, as my affliction is slowly taking over the person my friends & family once new, so social encounters are just awkward dances with my fighting internal desire to simply flee & at the same time despair at the notion of being alone- alone my mind gets grim & resentful at life. I need meds soon or I'm not so sure how long I can deal with this disgusting feeling of having to live in such a state. Not so bad is it?, to rid the world of one more whining, self indulged, nihilistic, mental defective to never again burden the people on this earth. I'm tired; what would it matter? I die, then nothing- no awareness, no pain of knowing even if I did make others hurt, no thought... to just simply stop living; to embrace the big empty, the great nothingness. Could there be any greater peace than simply not being? Any hell greater than here & now?

Last edited by Forest; 01-30-14 at 05:34 PM.
bipolarbear is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-12, 11:50 AM   #2
TTL Platinum Member
 
Aries's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: On my own planet...
Posts: 16,804
Default

bipolarbear - There's a greater hell, if you want to refer to it as that. The hell that somebody here was crying out for help, yet so many people, here, were unable to save, just one more soul. One more soul from feeling the pains of the world, their thoughts, and not being able to help them. That thought alone rips thru me like a freight train derailed off it's tracks. I feel for you, in all ways possible. I'm in a dark, gloomy, and unhappy place myself. While it may not be to any comparison to what you're enduring, I want to be there and help you; so do many others. Yes, life is full of disappointments, pains, suffering, and over all hurt. There's people here that want to help you; any way(s) that they can. Whether it be a ear to listen, a shoulder to cry on, or somebody to help you and take your pain(s) away, by just being here for you. Stop and consider my feelings, if nothing else. Yes, I know I don't know you, but you're a person and need help; we all do.

You're not whining, not all at. If anything, in my opinion here, you want somebody to support you and let you know, that they're going to be here with you 'to weather the storm.' We all need that in our own lives; support! Support to help us dust ourselves off, pick ourselves up, and continue to keep healing from whatever we are enduring at this particular time. Allow US to help you, help yourself right now. Don't turn and do something that would affect other people that don't know you, yet deeply care. Make the better choice and allow people here to lend you a hand and help pull you up and support you. I'm not just saying that, I truly mean that. People here have helped me (in my past) when I needed it. Find the strength within yourself, this site, and the people here, that want to help, support, and be here for you.
__________________
Surround yourself with people who are going to lift you higher. -Oprah Winfrey-

If life was easy, were would the adventure be? -unknow-

We can't direct the wind but we can adjust the sails. -unknown-
Aries is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-09-12, 12:06 PM   #3
Experienced Member
 
Molurus Bivittatus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Done with men.
Posts: 1,464
My Mood:
Default

I have to agree with everything Aries has said here. People on this site have been there for me and still are helping me through my own issues though they are not as bad as yours. It has really helped me through too so lean on us and know that we are there for you. Think on this; you are at rock bottom now but the one good thing about being at rock bottom is the only way is up. I was where you are now a few months ago and others helped me through and made me see that there was another way apart from ending it all. I learnt that there is always another better way. Just keep talking to us here and you will see that this is true.
Molurus Bivittatus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 03-11-12, 09:33 PM   #4
New Member
 
walkingcontradiction's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: New Zealand
Posts: 15
My Mood:
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by bipolarbear View Post
Two hours sleep last night; my mind is in another place while still trying to maintain what could only be a vestigial semblance of normalcy, for how would people react if I tell them that I started today with a n exact-o-knife skating across the underneath of my forearm: that's just not normal coffee talk. I'm tired; drained. I have very little in common with others, as my affliction is slowly taking over the person my friends & family once new, so social encounters are just awkward dances with my fighting internal desire to simply flee & at the same time despair at the notion of being alone- alone my mind gets grim & resentful at life. I need meds soon or I'm not so sure how long I can deal with this disgusting feeling of having to live in such a state. Not so bad is it?, to rid the world of one more whining, self indulged, nihilistic, mental defective to never again burden the people on this earth. I'm tired; what would it matter? I die, then nothing- no awareness, no pain of knowing even if I did make others hurt, no thought... to just simply stop living; to embrace the big empty, the great nothingness. Could there be any greater peace than simply not being? Any hell greater than here & now?
I feel the same way a lot of times, but its better to hope there is something ,rather than just bottling it inside. I find that poetry, and writing takes away my pain, and gives me a release.
walkingcontradiction is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-13-12, 03:01 AM   #5
New Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: TN
Posts: 2
My Mood:
Default Over...

That moment when you realize something in a moment of great clarity and you wish you could rewind just a few days to change a lifetime. When you realize where everything should have fallen and that the puzzle pieces no longer align like they did just a few months ago. When they think they caught you in some big act but it shouldn't have even been an incident. When you wonder: is there really any happy-lovey feelings leftover for me after everything else comes into play? Or is all that we have worked for gone forever?

I know that the world isn't going to stop on a dime just to make me stop crying and bleeding but.. I wish the hurt would stop. I dont know what to do anymore and I just want to die. I have tried 4 times now and it feels like I am supposed to live but I dont want to anymore. There is nothing here for me.
WalkingDevestation is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 12-14-12, 06:59 PM   #6
J58
Junior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 61
Default

I feel similarly. Being tired doesn't help, and certainly being tired robs one of energy to seek different solutions. Right now, friends are "running for the hills" from me, because they don't have a clue what to do or say. I understand this - it's self preservation, and it's not an unusual reaction. There's only so much anyone can do. It is certainly very difficult to merely live (whatever living may be) with stuff that simply isn't going to be solved in a short time, or ever. I understand the peace you seek, and being able to shut everything off would be so blissful. I wish I had advice for you about how to do that in a positive way. For what it is worth, I'm in a very similar place with similar thoughts, and the hours pass on auto-pilot. I'm not really aware of what's going on.
J58 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 04:46 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.3.2
Shoutbox provided by vBShout v6.2.1 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2014 DragonByte Technologies Ltd. Runs best on HiVelocity Hosting.