In fact, she pretty much egged it on.
As I have said on here before, I have been depressed for years. It was always relatively manageable so I never went in for help. That and my parents had never dealt with that before. They don't believe in it. Well, its recently gotten worse. I started college, my boyfriend was admitted into treatment for his own depression and suicidal thoughts (and actions), my parents didn't seem to help much with anything. My mom has seen my cuts from self injury and still doesn't believe in depression.
I decided to go in and see a doctor. He said that i did have depression and started me on 50 mg of sertraline. It was not helping so he bumped it up to 100 mg and wanted me to start counseling. I made an appointment with a therapist but she was booked until January 6th.
I recently got a cat to help put me in a better mood because I love animals. He helped so much. I brought him home for christmas break and my step father would not allow me to keep the cat there. He gave no reason, just said the cat was not staying. It had nothing to do with not wanting the cat inside because they have an indoor cat and an indoor dog. Yet he denied my cat, as the DOG that my brother brought home sat there wagging his tail at me. I had my own litter box, food, and everything. It was only going to be for a week. He threw a fit and my mother just sat there and let it happen, like always. He does it to prove he's superior to me. He has always put me down. So i left and told them i was going back to my apartment and not spending christmas with ANY of them.
My mother did not even so much as call me. She said NOTHING as I left. My sister started texting me YELLING at me for being rude! I decided to stay at my dad's instead of driving the 2 hours back to my apartment. I stayed here over night.
My mother txtd me the next morning to call her. I told her I had nothing to say. She told my I was being rude to everyone and that I should come home for christmas because it was hurting her. She even referred to a time when my boyfriend got me a new kitten and my step father gave it away to someone else. She said "you should have gotten a clue that this was going to happen after the deal with the cat evan gave you". I told her that I needed a break from school and everything for a while to get better. She told me that if I quit school, i wouldn't be on her insurance anymore, so there goes my anti-depressants. I told her then that I didn't want to be alive anymore and I was going to kill myself.
She said, and i quote "pull your head out of your ass and quit feeling sorry for yourself"
And I snapped. I need help or i'm going to do something bad. I'm trying to get myself checked into a health center for depression but I have no money, and neither does my dad. And soon, I'll have no anti-depressants either.
They want me dead. And to be quite honest, I think that would be the best thing. They want it, and I want it. They wont have to deal with me "feeling sorry for myself" anymore.