I've never used websites like this but I'm not new to forums. My depression started when I was very young and when I was 19 I attempted suicide. I don't want to do that again but the thought pops up a lot, especially at night.
I feel very alone. I don't have any friends because of a former boyfriend who was abusive, he pretty much chased them all away. No one has contacted me in 8-10 months and when I contact them they end the conversation after a few minutes.
My only real ties are my grandparents, who have been there for me through everything.
I feel like a failure. I've dropped out of college twice. I'm 24 and I don't see a future. I'm on social security disability for mental and physical problems including shizotypal, bipolar, and depression. My body always hurts because of my bones.
I just don't know what to do. I don't feel like my psychiatrist is very helpful.