I'm addicted to the Internet. It's my only escape.
My Internet addiction helps me deal with tons of issues, like:
-The fact that Americans aren't allowed to be proud of where they're born unlike people everywhere else, no matter how corrupt their governments are. I'm especially envious of Brazilians. They seem so happy and proud of their country, their people, and their culture. Black Brazilians don't call themselves African Brazilians, they're just Brazilian. Here everyone is split up and there's really no culture anyway.
-Offensive opinions. I can control what information I expose myself to.
-Shame from past bullying. Bullies made me feel low self-worth. They brought me down every time they opened their mouths, usually in front of tons of people, which was humiliating. I made me look awful.
-Needing to distract myself from the voices.
-Trying to beat other addictions like cigarettes and food.
-The fact that the West is falling apart and being replaced by something that will be far worse for blacks, women, and gays. And half of Westerners are glad about it because they think they're invincible.
-The fact that introverts always have to accommodate extroverts. A lot of mental illnesses have the symptom of what is just introversion, but never of extroversion. Introverts are told to come out of their shell, to strike a balance, they are called stuck up, shy, antisocial, rude. Extroverts aren't told these things.
-The fact that as a woman, I'm caught between a rock and a hard place when it comes to gender roles. If I act like a man, I'm slut shamed. If I act like a woman and also expect the man to act like a man i.e. pay for everything, I'm called a cheap whore, a gold digger, or a sugar baby. So I have to hold up my end of the bargain but the man doesn't.
-Other people's ways. Like how some people will do anything for money and have no principles. Like in school, this stuck up girl captain would always tell our team to "suck it up and deal." She's the type that just sucks everything up and deals. She has no complaints about the world, no cause to fight for. It's just all about careers, money, and things. Yet I'm supposedly just jealous of her because she's oh so hard working.
-Some people fixating too much on the fact that I'm black. I'm just me.
Can anyone relate? Anyone addicted to the Internet?