02-04-11, 02:22 PM
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#1
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Experienced Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 2,183
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I'm bored so I'm drunk
I mean come on. Really? I can't even have a quiet night alone without getting shitfaced?
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I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be the star in somebody else's sky...
But why can't it be mine?
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02-04-11, 11:25 PM
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#2
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Experienced Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,037
My Mood:
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Hey billy, I take it you're upset that you're drinking? I know I've drank quite a few nights away alone just out of sheer boredom. Maybe you could watch a movie or just go to bed and start an early morning or something? I dunno.
Are you sure it's just boredom that has you drinking? Or is there something else on your mind?
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02-05-11, 12:10 AM
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#3
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Member
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: middle America
Posts: 285
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I did this sooooo many times, but it stopped being fun after a while. Then I did it compulsively, out of habit. And I would beat myself up the next morning cause it wasn't enjoyable. I finally stopped, now, stopped drinking altogether even in social situations.
Just don't let it get to where it hurts you. That's when you have to just throw it all out and say "no more." Until then, just do what feels right.
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02-05-11, 12:15 AM
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#4
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Member
Join Date: Aug 2010
Location: moving again
Posts: 430
My Mood:
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What I do when I'm bored/lonely/can't sleep is to look up things online. Even if they don't seem interesting at first, it can grow on you. Learning things from reading online creates more things to talk about with people which leads to more friends, more things to do and less drinking, hopefully.
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02-07-11, 12:49 PM
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#5
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Experienced Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 2,183
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ferrarisnowday
Hey billy, I take it you're upset that you're drinking? I know I've drank quite a few nights away alone just out of sheer boredom. Maybe you could watch a movie or just go to bed and start an early morning or something? I dunno.
Are you sure it's just boredom that has you drinking? Or is there something else on your mind?
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I'm upset because I had/have a drinking problem that I thought I had under control. I've spent the past year sobering up enough to take meds and go to CBT and my life is, in theory, so much better. I have nothing to feel shitty about. I used to feel lonely but now I'm seeing something that could potentially turn serious and I have good friends around me. I used to feel down about my cousin's schizophrenia but he's been getting better over the last few months. I've stopped purging my food and self-harming, so I don't feel trapped by them anymore. Yet somehow the urge to drink still rears it's ugly head.
This is something I've just written in an email to a friend that I spoke to the same night that I posted this thread:
Quote:
You're right, the alcohol was definitely making me feel worse. I guess I just see myself falling into the same pattern. It makes the meds pointless and could potentially mess everything up if the drink gets out of hand again. My therapist thinks it's a form of self-sabotage - I can't let myself be happy with [girlfriend] so I'm subconsciously doing something that could ruin what I have with her (to make things worse, she admitted to me the other day that he ex had a drinking problem, I'd hate to end up reminding her of him because he was a git to her). Yet somehow I just feel anxious and crappy at the end of a long day at work and I it winds me down. But then, on Friday I didn't even have excuse! I'd been off that day and somehow worked through FIVE litres of 5% cider. That's the same as half a litre of vodka! Just because I was bored and it was the only way to de-stress. And what am I even stressed about? I don't know, it doesn't make sense and I'm really struggling to find the strength and will-power to not wander down the shop and buy booze.
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Gah, I'm just whinging so I'll stop now. For what it's worth, I haven't got any booze in tonight. Well, not yet anyway, it's still early. Let's hope I don't wuss out.
__________________
I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be the star in somebody else's sky...
But why can't it be mine?
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02-07-11, 11:25 PM
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#6
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Experienced Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Posts: 1,037
My Mood:
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Quote:
Originally Posted by billy boy
I'm upset because I had/have a drinking problem that I thought I had under control. I've spent the past year sobering up enough to take meds and go to CBT and my life is, in theory, so much better. I have nothing to feel shitty about. I used to feel lonely but now I'm seeing something that could potentially turn serious and I have good friends around me. I used to feel down about my cousin's schizophrenia but he's been getting better over the last few months. I've stopped purging my food and self-harming, so I don't feel trapped by them anymore. Yet somehow the urge to drink still rears it's ugly head.
This is something I've just written in an email to a friend that I spoke to the same night that I posted this thread:
Gah, I'm just whinging so I'll stop now. For what it's worth, I haven't got any booze in tonight. Well, not yet anyway, it's still early. Let's hope I don't wuss out.
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No, you're not whinging -- it's good to talk, that's why we're on this forum after all .
I'm glad you haven't drank tonight . It sounds like your shooting for total abstinence, which seems like the best route for you.
I wonder why you're self sabotaging? Do you know why you wouldn't want to let yourself be happy with your girlfriend?
Does your state (or country if you aren't in the US) have any program to prevent you from buying alcohol? I know here there is a program where you can voluntarily put yourself on a banned list; and if you try to buy liquor, when they scan your ID it will tell them not to sell it to you. I doubt that route works for everyone, but maybe it's something to consider if it's an option where you live and if you think it would help you out.
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02-08-11, 11:34 AM
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#7
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Experienced Member
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 2,183
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I guess I just got so used to feeling lonely that I convinced myself I didn't deserve to be with someone. My self-esteem was so fucking shot (for reasons I can't be bothered to go into here, but I've been hurt and rejected a lot in the past) that I didn't think I'd ever be happy. Now that I'm actually seeing someone who cares about me, takes the time to understand me and makes me feel alive it's almost like I'm waiting to wake up from a daydream because I can't quite believe it's happening.
I live in the UK, I'm not aware of any program like that. There is medication available that will make you sick if you drink alcohol, I'd considered it in the past but resisted because a) I wasn't aiming for total abstinence and b) I wanted to learn to control it myself. Maybe I should reconsider...
__________________
I know someday you'll have a beautiful life, I know you'll be the star in somebody else's sky...
But why can't it be mine?
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