Can't control my drinking
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Can't control my drinking

This is a discussion on Can't control my drinking within the Substance Abuse forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; I'm not a party-animal and I don't go out that much. But on the occasions that I do drink, I ...

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Old 11-01-09, 01:28 PM   #1
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Thumbs down Can't control my drinking

I'm not a party-animal and I don't go out that much.
But on the occasions that I do drink, I can't control myself and drink waaaaay too much. Guess I should listen to my own advice sometimes, and stop drinking in time. And I point that out to people, but then get my hands on another beer or drink and get even more wasted. And I know deep down that it isn't because I wanna have fun and be like everybody else - I just want to drown my thoughts out, kill the pain.
We have a history of alcoholics in my family, my fathers mother drank herself too death and my father and my siblings have suffered from alcohol and substanceabuse. SO it scares my when I find myself a saturday morning (like 11 o'clock) with a couple of glasses of my parents wine, with the room spinning, all alone. I know I develop addictions easily, with everything from cutting to games... Sounds so pathetic, sixteen year old alcoholic. WOW, my future seems so bright *sigh*
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Old 11-02-09, 05:22 AM   #2
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How often do you drink? The implication is that you're not doing it every day, or am I wrong? If total abstinence isn't an option yet, try controlled drinking. Have a beer, then a coke. Another beer, then some lemonade. Down a few pints of water. That way, you're still having a few drinks without ending up totally ratarsed.
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Old 11-25-09, 11:04 AM   #3
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Mate, if you're an alcoholic, then you're an alcoholic - and no amount of controlled drinking will ever change that. I've been where you are, and I know where it leads. I, too, grew up in a family where there was alcoholism on my father's side. I inherited the gene from him. Once I start, I can't stop. Like you, I was drinking to kill the pain - and that's the biggest danger sign. All it does, in the end, is make the pain harder to bear.

The best advice I can give you, or anyone else with the same problem, is to go to the AA website and check out your behaviour with their online test. Then.... get yourself to an AA meeting! AA has literally saved my ass. When I started on their programme 7 months ago, I couldn't imagine going through a single day without alcohol - usually an excessive amount. It got to the stage where I never properly sobered up from one day to the next. Now... I've been sober for 34 days, and I can't believe the change it's made in me. It was hard at first, but I no longer think about having a drink. The alcohol was making my depressions so much worse. I'll tell you, if I ever thought I could feel this good sober, I'd never have wanted to get drunk all the time in the first place.

AA is a fantastic fellowship. Don't worry about all the talk about 'God' and 'Higher Powers' if that's not your thing. You don't have to be religious in the least bit. The support I get from fellow sufferers at meetings is priceless - and they understand me more than anyone out there in the 'normal' world ever could, therapists included. I'm going to meetings every night now, as I've got the time, and there are people as young as you there. Forget the stigma of alcoholism. The only people who will stigmatise you anyway are those who don't understand and don't want to, and who gives a crap what they want to think?

Don't give up hope. Don't surrender to a life of booze. There's a whole good life waiting for you out there if you choose to give it a try!

All the best, mate. I know where you're coming from.
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Old 11-25-09, 11:10 AM   #4
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I would second Stan's advice. Get to a meeting.
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Old 11-25-09, 03:42 PM   #5
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Quote:
Originally Posted by StanSeagrave View Post
Mate, if you're an alcoholic, then you're an alcoholic - and no amount of controlled drinking will ever change that.
Oh, absolutely, but what I was asking was if ButterflyChaos was indeed an alcoholic. Having a drinking problem/some sort of psychological dependence on booze isn't the same as having full blown alcoholism. Sure, the former can lead to the latter, but not always.
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Old 11-25-09, 04:52 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by billy boy View Post
Oh, absolutely, but what I was asking was if ButterflyChaos was indeed an alcoholic. Having a drinking problem/some sort of psychological dependence on booze isn't the same as having full blown alcoholism. Sure, the former can lead to the latter, but not always.
Well... I don't think I'd be so sure about that, Billy Boy. Psychological dependence on booze = alcoholism in my book. I don't think I'd talk in terms of 'full-blown' alcoholism, either. Alcoholism is alcoholism. It's not about the quantity you drink, but about the reasons you drink. I know alcoholics in AA who used to knock back 2 or 3 bottles of vodka a day - and then there are others who would drink perhaps a bottle of wine a day. The common denominator, though, was the psychological dependence on the fix. I used to drink around 80 alcohol units a week - much less than some people, but still 4 times my healthy limit. And I couldn't imagine a day without booze. I simply couldn't imagine it. I tried controlled drinking. I tried giving up for a few weeks, then going back to 'normal' levels. But it never stuck.

Sure, give controlled drinking a try. Set a daily limit and stick rigidly to it. Have alcohol-free days. It may work. From what ButterflyChaos is saying, though, I'm not so sure that it will in his case. The title of the thread says it all. I hope I'm wrong, but experience - mine and other peoples' - tells me otherwise.
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Last edited by StanSeagrave; 11-25-09 at 04:55 PM.
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