I Really Need A Man

ILikeChocolate · 03-01-2010, 08:54 AM

I really, really need a man. Im 47 years old and single, Im the only single person I know. Im not posting this in the relationships section, because thats not really what this is about. All of my siblings are in permanent relationships. My mother left her husband and only months later even she has a new man. All of the women I work with have boyfriends, but not me. I feel as if I have nothing to contribute to their conversations, and as if I have no place in my family. After all if not one man in the world thinks Im worth being with, why would anyone listen to me or think Im anything but a waste of space? I would dearly love to have someone to care for and to care for me, I cant even begin to imagine how that feels. Im almost embarassed, but not quite, to say it, but even a bad relationship would be better than nobody, because at least then I would have 'proof' that someone thinks Im okay. I see women out there who are older and uglier and fatter than me and they are with men I would date, so why not me?? Because Im a nothing, I dont matter.

billy boy · 03-01-2010, 09:02 AM

Well, it could in part be a self-fulfilling prophecy, if you see what I mean. You seem convinced that you have nothing to offer anyone in a relationship, even though I'm sure you do, and you're lack of self esteem when it comes to romance prevents you from doing anything about it. What do you do to meet men? Have you tried dating agencies or anything? There's no shame in it, my friend and his girlfriend are in their 20s and they met through a singles website, neither of them are abnormal, in fact they're both lovely, good looking people! My point is, try to view yourself more positively, even if it feels like a lie at first, and go out of your way to meet men.

You're certainly not alone, I'm a single guy and I often feel weird for not having a girlfriend. I identify with what you're saying so maybe I should practice what I preach, haha.

ILikeChocolate · 03-01-2010, 09:12 AM

On the contrary, I think I have a lot to offer in a relationship........ its the men who arent asking me out who think I dont..... I guess.

billy boy · 03-01-2010, 09:16 AM

Well, this is the 21st century and it's no longer as simple as waiting for the man to make the first move. As I said, try dating sites or dating agencies, be more proactive rather than waiting around to be asked out.

510178 · 03-01-2010, 09:35 AM

Try dating online. It seems like it's what everyone else is doing these days. Sorry to be redundant.

NoRain · 03-03-2010, 10:23 AM

I could have written your original post, ILikeChocolate. I'm older than you are (and most likely fatter, too), but I'm sick to death of being single, too. Three of my coworkers are getting married this summer, leaving me the only single person in the office. I haven't had a date in six years. I have low self-esteem - I'm not worth being with because I'm too old and too fat and what would I bring to a relationship, anyway? You know what I mean?

One thing I keep telling myself is that I'd rather be alone than in a bad relationship. If I'd wanted to be miserable in a relationship, I could have stayed married. After my last two online dates (both in January 2004) I took down all my personal ads and decided it'd be better to meet somebody the old-fashioned way. You can see how much good that did. I haven't met any single men in my age bracket, none at all, not even a "better-than-nobody" guy. Sigh.

I haven't really got anything hopeful to say. Just wanted you to know you're not the only one.