Decisions

Mousey · 10-03-2009, 06:35 PM

Monday we see our attorney about custody. We got a response from they're lawyer. I'm nervous about what they want to agree to. Crims wants Brayden full time, with them seeing him on weekends. But part of me would be okay with seeing him on weekends and letting them have him during the week.

I don't know if it's the depression talking, or if I really am okay with this. I realized I don't have the same bond with him as I did with my 1st child. I know this doesn't make me a "bad mom", but does it mean I don't deserve to have him full time?

boulevard-traveler · 10-09-2009, 08:45 PM

Mousey, it's probably your depression talking. You do love your youngest as much as your oldest or else you wouldn't be concerned. I think it takes time for bonds to form.

Delta40 · 10-09-2009, 10:00 PM

I have two daughters and my feelings for them have always been different Mousey. I have never doubted the gravity of my love for them both. That is not in question. I don't think you are saying you don't love your son either.

They are both unique individuals and I respond to one in a different way than I do to the other. Its about dynamics which can be challenging. Dynamics however should not be a criteria for whether you should fulfill your commitment as a parent. Otherwise, the message we give our child is 'I will only be your parent fulltime if we bond in a way that I like.'

The question here, is what do you think are in the best interests of Bradyden? What does he genuinely need in his life right now? Stop thinking in terms of the ideal and take self-judgments out of the picture.