azbycx

Hey all-

I live with my gpa. I have since August and his health has slowly gotten worse and so he has become more and more dependent on me. Well, shit hit the fan on Wednesday when he said I need to quit my job to be here all the time. He needs me to get to the bathroom, bring him food, water, clothes, etc.

I have family members willing to help, but he doesn't want them. He's old and used to me and doesn't like change. I don't blame him all that much either because the other people willing to help are, well, they can be difficult and if I was him I might not want them to help me either. They are my mom and aunt (his daughters) and I love them but I don't really respect them.

So I have spent the last days worrying about work texting my boss texting and calling anyone alive to cover my shifts. I need to tell him that he will have to get used to someone else for part of the time, I also need to be able to trust them not to be assholes to him.

If you have any ideas or have ever been in this situation let me know. I'm human and I'm tired and I need him to cut me some slack and let someone else help.

Operator

You have a right to continue working.. Just be firm in saying you'd be happy to help when you can, but quitting your job is not an option to you. He should understand, I hope!

__________________
"Practice the action without striving and all will be in order." -Lao Tzu

"Why don't you change?"-J. Krishnamurti

"Be who you are and say what you will because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind." -Dr. Seuss

"The courage to allow [yourself] and [your] work to be found boring." -Nietzsche

"I'm surrounded by jerks." -Holden Caulfield

"I have found God, but he is insufficient."-Henry Miller

Dad of 3

I obviously don't know your entire family situation, but you are not a servant for your grandfather. You have a right to live your life as you see fit. I agree totally with Operator that you need to speak with him and discuss other options. Yoy should help when you can, but you are under no obligation to be on call 24/7.

And remember- take time for yourself too. You deserve free time and a chance to live your own life without feeling guilty.

azbycx

Thanks, both of you. This whole thing kind of just fell in my lap. I was coming home after living in AZ for a few years and figured living here made the most sense for both of us. I had to find a job and I was like a safety net in case he fell or got hurt. Now I'm like his life support. I plan to tell him on Saturday or Sunday so I can go back to work (at a restaurant nearby).

Sometimes I want to get out of here (I was looking up teaching jobs in China a couple weeks ago) but I'll probably won't go anywhere now that I'm here.