03-09-2010, 05:25 AM
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#131
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Sweden
Posts: 2,840
My Mood:
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i'm really groggy. Mixing too many pills with a bit alcohol atleast made the pain go away. Don't worry, it isn't a fatale dosage... I'm a bit out of it, atleast the pain disappeared.
__________________
We choose to love, but not to cease loving.
( ~ Some greek philosopher)
I say; free hugs for everyone!
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03-09-2010, 09:38 AM
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#132
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Sweden
Posts: 2,840
My Mood:
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And now I'm groggy and in pain.
I'm not being taken seriously at all by my "best freind". Feel like shit.
Sometimes I feel like only you here at TTL and my family would ever miss me if I were gone. I guess that's the truth really...
__________________
We choose to love, but not to cease loving.
( ~ Some greek philosopher)
I say; free hugs for everyone!
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03-10-2010, 11:28 AM
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#133
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Sweden
Posts: 2,840
My Mood:
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I'm a bit sad and tired and my jaw's aching... Things are pretty shitty, I guess.
Biologyexam went absolutely wrong cause I've missed a lot and haven't been well enough to study - I hope I can talk my biologyteacher into take another exam later. My schoolwork is really crappy, don't know how the hell I am supposed to pass... I can't focus and I'm in pain and depressed plus the ADHD-thing... Screw it! I want to lay in my bed all day.
__________________
We choose to love, but not to cease loving.
( ~ Some greek philosopher)
I say; free hugs for everyone!
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03-10-2010, 02:13 PM
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#134
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Sweden
Posts: 2,840
My Mood:
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Reading about Borderline on a site I got linked, and what AJ Mahari says about my loneliness is so true - I'm not alone in the world, I'm "lonely from within - living in and from an internally isolated and disconnected, often alienated, abyss where that sense of self should be."
__________________
We choose to love, but not to cease loving.
( ~ Some greek philosopher)
I say; free hugs for everyone!
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03-10-2010, 04:34 PM
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#135
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Sweden
Posts: 2,840
My Mood:
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Today have been a really bumpy rollercoaster-ride. I've been in the abyss and I've even felt some feelings of belonging, beeing understood.
Too bad I'm so easily triggered.
Practised my yoga-breathing which atleast calmed down the panicky feeling fluttering in my cheast. I can still feel it just beneath the surface - trying to push it down.
__________________
We choose to love, but not to cease loving.
( ~ Some greek philosopher)
I say; free hugs for everyone!
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03-11-2010, 11:40 AM
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#136
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Sweden
Posts: 2,840
My Mood:
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I'm achy and I feel soo sooo tired. And empty too. Tomorrow it's friday but still feel odd. Gonna meet Kriss after school and hang out & he'll stay at our house until sunday. I hope it will be fun, though it just feels like a million miles away - I'm back in my bubble...
__________________
We choose to love, but not to cease loving.
( ~ Some greek philosopher)
I say; free hugs for everyone!
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03-12-2010, 02:00 PM
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#137
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Sweden
Posts: 2,840
My Mood:
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Have hanged out with Kriss and his friend Philip like 3½h. Forgot my phone in a store. Paniced at burger king while waiting for Kriss (he ahd to go to the bathroom) and I felt like everyone was staring at me, it was horrible... I kinda clawed a wound on my finger... Feel like cutting. I just got home, my mom started nagging about me not going to school today. I feel horrible, a bit panicky. Just want to slice&dice I guess. That sounds horrid, but true.
Kriss will come here in about 4 h, after the Lamb of God concert and will stay the weekend. He saw the wound I clawed but what could he do?
I don't know. I'm just really out of it.
__________________
We choose to love, but not to cease loving.
( ~ Some greek philosopher)
I say; free hugs for everyone!
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03-14-2010, 09:26 AM
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#138
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Sweden
Posts: 2,840
My Mood:
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My finger looks like shit. And Kriss has just left. Couldn't keep all the negative thoughts blocked out, even in his presense I zoned out and stared out in the air.
Last night I even felt the need to have myself a 65/35 vodka/orangejuice-drink and I got kinda drunk. But atleast I got a bit further away from reality and Kriss didn't mind either. I'm a happy drunk, fortunatly, and I settle with hugs. I fell asleep really fast, lucky me - the night before I laid awake for maybe 2 h before getting any sleep. And got woke up just 4 h later>_<
Anyway, this pic shows what I accomplished with my thumb-nail. I'm stupid.
__________________
We choose to love, but not to cease loving.
( ~ Some greek philosopher)
I say; free hugs for everyone!
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03-14-2010, 03:09 PM
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#139
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Sweden
Posts: 2,840
My Mood:
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Just messaged my old t-doc. I'm fucking scared.
Said I need help. I never say it to people in real life. I can't...
I hope she can meet up with me soon.
__________________
We choose to love, but not to cease loving.
( ~ Some greek philosopher)
I say; free hugs for everyone!
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03-14-2010, 05:26 PM
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#140
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Senior Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Sweden
Posts: 2,840
My Mood:
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I'll meet up with my old t-doc someday soon.
Hope things will work out for me too...
Just really tired right now and I don't wanna go to school tomorrow..!!
But I have to. And I have to get my cellphone back, I kinda dropped/forgot it in a store... Things are really screwed right now. Is there a light all the way over there? I don't know.
__________________
We choose to love, but not to cease loving.
( ~ Some greek philosopher)
I say; free hugs for everyone!
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