12-10-2009, 12:25 AM
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#1
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TTL Silver Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 8,861
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Journal
catchy title, huh?
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12-10-2009, 01:17 AM
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#2
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TTL Silver Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 8,861
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i don't even know what the point of this journal will be.
i'm just so restless. i get this way.
i get depressed, and i feel so restless.
so stuck.
i don't know what i'm looking for.
i'm looking. i'm looking.
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12-10-2009, 01:58 AM
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#3
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TTL Silver Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 8,861
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restless restless restless
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12-19-2009, 09:20 PM
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#4
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TTL Silver Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 8,861
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i want to make it clear i'm not talking about this website or the people here at all. i know if i posted my struggles here, i would get support. u guys are the best, i don't know what i'd do without u. i'm just ranting about someone in my life. ..
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you're right, i don't want to talk to u. why should i? i tried it before & u didn't listen. just brush over my feelings and put me on the defensive. i'm not explaining myself to u. u wouldn't hear it before, i'm not sharing it again. why didn't u care before? didn't seem serious enough? oh, well.
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12-20-2009, 03:48 PM
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#5
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TTL Silver Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 8,861
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i hate this. i hate worrying about money when i have to go food shopping. :(
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01-11-2010, 02:09 AM
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#6
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TTL Silver Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 8,861
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feeling pensive tonight, whatevr i type may come out all garbled, but o well.
thinking of my family. i recently realized i didn't have any childhood memories of my mom saying she loves me. i know she says it now when we get off the phone, i have a couple of childhood memories of her hugging me, but i think in general as a child we didn't really get too close to each other. thinking of it, she wasn't too affectionate with either of my sisters, either. not saying she didn't love us growing up, i don't know. i guess i never really had a very good relationship with her. i really don't talk to her about very much now. i don't know, maybe i'm thinking of this because my sister mentioned that i am a private person, and that made me think. i'm very open with some people, but not my family. never felt i could be. maybe that's why having friends is such an important thing to me, i need people i can open up to.
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01-12-2010, 01:58 AM
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#7
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TTL Silver Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 8,861
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life just seems like waiting. waiting for things to happen, things i can't do much about. hubby hasn't had a permanent job in about 3 full years now. we're not in debt, but i get worried for the future. we can't save any money like this, what are we going to do when we get old? we're trying & things just aren't working out!!!
so many attempts we just have to "wait and see" so we try other stuff, too, but nothing pans out.
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01-17-2010, 06:13 PM
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#8
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TTL Silver Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 8,861
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:( :( :(
:( :( :(
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02-05-2010, 10:28 PM
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#9
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TTL Silver Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 8,861
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i wanted friends for years but never got them. now i really don't want them. i don't know if that's bad or good. in a way it's good - i don't want something i'm not going to get. in a way it's bad - i don't feel like a very caring person anymore.
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02-06-2010, 11:37 PM
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#10
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TTL Silver Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 8,861
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today i was driving & some guy was beeping because he wanted me to move. i was so angry i almost put the car in park to get out and yellat him. i was furious. i thought better of it though, and just blasted my horn back at him, yelling in the car instead. i've become a lot more foul-mouthed, and lately i've started getting more angry. i don't know, maybe it's because i don't really care anymore.
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