Single not ready to date

TooMuch · 07-04-2010, 11:18 PM

Hey guys, need some help. I recently got out of a relationship and some of the guys at work are starting to find out about it. Anyway, I'm terrified that some of them are going to ask me out. Why am I scared? I don't want to hurt anyone's feeling, I mean there's alot of nice guys at work but I just don't feel ready for a relationship right now. I need time to recover and I don't feel prepared to go out with anyone just yet and some of these guys are really, really nice. What do I say to them? How do you say no to a nice guy. I mean some of these guys I would've jumped at a chance to go out with previously, I'm just confused right now. I just feel it's hard for a guy to put himself out there and ask.

Also, I'm not use to beating the guys off. But at this place, there's a friggin line up to my work station. I'm not use to this. Usually I get ignored or passed over. How do you say no, nicely? I really need sometime alone. Since being in 2 abusive relationships, I've decided to try to take some time for myself and get some counselling or seeing a psychiatrist for help first. I haven't fully recovered from the abuse. I thought I was doing well, but now I'm thinking maybe I'm not and can use some help.

Anyway, how do I say no to some nice guys.

Jacob72472 · 07-04-2010, 11:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TooMuch

Hey guys, need some help. I recently got out of a relationship and some of the guys at work are starting to find out about it. Anyway, I'm terrified that some of them are going to ask me out. Why am I scared? I don't want to hurt anyone's feeling, I mean there's alot of nice guys at work but I just don't feel ready for a relationship right now. I need time to recover and I don't feel prepared to go out with anyone just yet and some of these guys are really, really nice. What do I say to them? How do you say no to a nice guy. I mean some of these guys I would've jumped at a chance to go out with previously, I'm just confused right now. I just feel it's hard for a guy to put himself out there and ask.

Also, I'm not use to beating the guys off. But at this place, there's a friggin line up to my work station. I'm not use to this. Usually I get ignored or passed over. How do you say no, nicely? I really need sometime alone. Since being in 2 abusive relationships, I've decided to try to take some time for myself and get some counselling or seeing a psychiatrist for help first. I haven't fully recovered from the abuse. I thought I was doing well, but now I'm thinking maybe I'm not and can use some help.

Anyway, how do I say no to some nice guys.

A nice way to say it is No thank you, I am not ready to be in a relationship right now.

You have the right as a women to say no when your not intrested, you have to put your needs first and take care of yourself first.

janave · 07-05-2010, 08:21 AM

Maybe just tell them what you told us here, something like "I'm sorry, ordinarily I'd say yes, but I'm just not ready right now to start seeing people". Honesty is the best policy, don't you think?

CarelessLove · 07-05-2010, 09:07 AM

Makes sense to me, I'm sure they'd understand, especially since they seem to know you're just out of your last relationship. Make sure to let them know that normally you'd be interested though, and maybe in a little while you could reconsider..?

TrollMongo · 07-05-2010, 11:00 AM

You've already gotten some good advice...I'll just ad that you should notice which guys kind of disappear after you tell them you need a little time. They'll be back, but only when they think they can get something with minimumal investment...