smileitconfuses

first of all, i totally agree with everything crystaltears said.. so so true, i can't even add anything more to it

i can relate to sataria a lot... like i see guys, and i can really like their personality (and hell, sometimes they can be good looking!) but i don't feel the attraction at all. in fact, i'm nearly twenty and i've never been in love with a guy, never wanted him so badly that i could jump him. i don't get it??, i know i'm not gay coz i don't look at women at all in that way.

i'm kinda confused by it all, a bit abnormal. i'm still a virgin and although im not absolutely gorgeous, i have been told i'm pretty and i've had my offers (which obviously i don't take up coz i don't have the attraction to the guy so whats the point? and although i have my problems i dont HATE myself) like i could have sex for the sake of it and to get the virginity thing out the way but i want to ENJOY it?? some friends think i'm being weird over that bit (like i get the lack of attraction thing is weird but they think i should just sleep with a guy and get it over with coz sex to them is just a physical thing).

i just couldnt be bothered at all... at clubs and stuff i make out with guys but i feel like i'm only doing it for the sake of it, to show my friends that i can get a guy and that if i really wanted to i could go as far as i want and have a boyfriend blah blah blah. its weird coz the guys are always into it yet im like miles away in my head.

i dunno whats up with me

Blue Girl

eh, for me that attraction almost always comes later, after i get to know them & like them. i don't usually get sexually attracted if i don't like the guy's personality, maybe it isn't normal, idk. there are guys i've found sexy, just usually the attitude or personality keeps me from being attracted for any length of time.

Sataria

Thanks Blue. That makes me feel a lot better.
((((((((hugs))))))))

I'm in a very situation to you, smileitconfuses. I don't know whether its normal, like Blue said, but I've come to the conclusion that not dating guys and turning down the offers I do get is just cheating myself. I mean- maybe things will go somewhere? Maybe, like Blue says, the attraction part comes later? I think that we are both selling ourselves short. :-(

I hope your love situation improves; 20 is very young. I wouldnt stress about still being a virgin or never being in love; hell- half my friends are mid twenties and still havent lost their virginity. Its not as important as everyone makes out. :-P

__________________
Delta: Our paths wind as does our direction. Light shines upon us - we hit pockets of bleak darkness. we come out with new eyes, yet still undefined in terms of whole meaning. How exciting it is to live, love, learn and grow.

autumn11

Hi

Though I'm a guy, thought I'd give my 2c. TBH I've dated girls who I've been instantly sexually attracted to, but with whom I just couldn't get a good emotional connection with, and I've dated girls who I've had a connection with and the physical attraction built over time but it wasn't as strong..

It's VERY difficult to find both intense physical attraction AND emotional connection. I think sexual attraction comes from a mixture of both, but to be honest I think it's more emotional. If it's just physical, you can get bored quite quickly even when it's very passionate and intense, without the emotional connection you just get it on, then all you have left to do is get it on again.. But if it's just emotional then for me there is no kind of spark...

It's tough.. All I'd say is, if he's not ugly, then give him a chance and I think 9 times out of 10, if you hit it off emotionally, the sexual attraction will come.