Family & Relatives

KatyAmy · 03-06-2010, 07:28 AM

Right my grandad pasted away last november 2 days before my birthday, it was heartbreaking, and well my birthdays have always been awful and i just now dont bother with my birthday after that. However most of my relatives didnt bother with my birthday cause of what happened and the lovely person i am i ignored then not bothering cause of my grandad. However the funeral wasnt what my grandad would have wanted.
Its my brothers birthday in 2 days and hes got a card from our family, and its just hurt me cause last year wasnt the only time they forgot.
I been depressed more the last few days and today after that i just cant stop feeling upset.
Ive always been forgotten, i dont have many friends and my family dont often remember im there, however my grandad did and with him not there its hard.
Im just heart broken, and when i say to my mum about her family forgetting, she takes a defensive and ultimately doesnt see where im coming from.

laneblade · 03-06-2010, 08:01 AM

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandad. About your mom though, it is really hard for people to know that they are neglecting a loved one. That's probably why she gets defensive. I know what it means to hate your birthday. Mine is the day after christmas so it was always kind of forgotten. Which I didn't mind. Then my grandpa whom I loved so much passed away on my sixteenth birthday. I remember it so well. I spent the entire day crying and praying that he would make it through, but he didn't. After that every birthday was just a reminder of that day. I started overcompensating by spending a lot of money on myself that I didn't have for my birthday to make me feel better. That wasn't healthy at all. I have come to terms with it 14 years later and now set up my own birthday parties and invite my family and nag them to show up. We end up having a good time. Could you try something like that? It's easy for people to forget what the date is. Just give them friendly reminders. Just remember that if you want something you have to take control and make it happen.

KatyAmy · 03-06-2010, 08:53 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by laneblade

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandad. About your mom though, it is really hard for people to know that they are neglecting a loved one. That's probably why she gets defensive. I know what it means to hate your birthday. Mine is the day after christmas so it was always kind of forgotten. Which I didn't mind. Then my grandpa whom I loved so much passed away on my sixteenth birthday. I remember it so well. I spent the entire day crying and praying that he would make it through, but he didn't. After that every birthday was just a reminder of that day. I started overcompensating by spending a lot of money on myself that I didn't have for my birthday to make me feel better. That wasn't healthy at all. I have come to terms with it 14 years later and now set up my own birthday parties and invite my family and nag them to show up. We end up having a good time. Could you try something like that? It's easy for people to forget what the date is. Just give them friendly reminders. Just remember that if you want something you have to take control and make it happen.

Well even before my grandad passed away all previous birthdays, ive asked people to do thnigs with me, i dont have alot of friends, but they never can most the time. As for my relatives they never really have remembered me, its mainly my mums family, as my dad dont have much family left. My brother has always been the favourite with my relatives and with my dad, so i have always been left out, i try talknig to my mum but she either takes a defensive or is too busy.
I often find myself dealing with it myself or confiding in strangers, like on here.

crimson · 03-06-2010, 02:19 PM

i know how you you feel, my brother was always the favored as kids and well still is, i don't know if your religious, but that helped me through those times,

i'm sorry they forgot your birthday, but happy birthday,
and don't feel like you are less of a person for there behavior you are not what they are doing is not right and one day they may see how great your are.