A year ago I lost my best friend to a drug overdose. The things he said before he died, that in retrospect revealed exactly his intentions, still haunt me. I've always felt pretty alone with that information, since everyone else who knew him was always so dismissive of it when I talked to them about it. I was very much the closest person to him before he died, and for some reason I keep making the mistake of thinking that his self-absorbed family members might take a minute to relect on the actuality of it rather than dismiss it with self-help cliches and pollyanish BS.
The thing is that a depressed life is a huge burden to carry for so many years. After the aftermath of his death, I just can not even entertain going there myself anymore. I guess I just wish that his actual life might be more of a legacy for other people who knew him. It seems like they were all too quick to ignore reality, redefine it for their own purposes and move on. It's pretty much how they dealt with him while he was alive after all.