A few days ago I heard that my EX commited suicide and I am utterly destroyed and feel it is my fault, A few weeks before she did it, she tried to talk to me and I brushed her off. I have remarried before the suicide, but the pain and heartache is so much. My wife don't understand why I should even care. But she does not know how much I was in love with my ex, I worshiped the ground she walked on, but she was so unpredictable you would never knew what she was going to do next, a nice smile or a threat.
I miss her so much, just knowing she was out there was my salvation but now she is gone and I feel compelled to join her. The closeness we had (sweat, blood, guts and tears) cannot mach what I got now (just a lovely family with no problems at all)
I am utterly destoyed and don't know how to hide it or even what to do about it!