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Lost my Daddy to suicide

This is a discussion on Lost my Daddy to suicide within the Lost to Suicide forums, part of the Suicide Forums category; Dear dear HeartBroken1, I am so so sorry for what happened and the terrible pain you are feeling. I hope ...

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Old 07-26-15, 09:39 AM   #11
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Dear dear HeartBroken1, I am so so sorry for what happened and the terrible pain you are feeling. I hope in some small way you take comfort in knowing that your post is helping people like me hang on and keep fighting each and every day. I was so moved by your post and poem that I can't stop crying, knowing that if I take my life, I will cause the same pain to my two daughters (one is 22 and the other is 18), and cause a lot of pain to my soon-to-be ex wife, and other family, and the few friends I have. My depression causes me such tunnel vision and delusion, that I don't see what killing myself will do to those who love me and care for me. Your post helped to make me see beyond my pain, and I hope and pray that I will never lose sight of that, even if my pain doesn't get better or even gets worse. But you post also has given me motivation to try to get better -- motivation that I haven't had for a long time in which I just haven't cared about anything, except wanting to not feel the way I do anymore. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart, and I hope that things have gotten better for you and continue to get better.
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Old 01-31-16, 05:48 AM   #12
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I'm sorry you have to bear this loss at such a young age. Be brave, remember that your friends and family will always be there for you. Speak to them if you are feeling down, and do not bottle up your feelings. Go for a jog, or talk to your dog. Immerse yourself in other activities.

Last edited by Forest; 01-31-16 at 07:01 AM.
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Old 02-11-16, 01:35 PM   #13
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I lost my dad, too. It's been about a year and a half. I'm 37, so I know some things are different for you than they are for me. One thing I know is that life does go on, but he will never be forgotten.

I still think about my dad every single day and I dream about him pretty often, too. But I also go weeks at a time without crying and, when I do cry, it feels good. I just let it happen and realize that it's good for me, it's normal, and it reminds me that I loved him and I always will.

Your writing is lovely. You express and process emotions extremely well.
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Old 02-15-16, 11:31 AM   #14
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Default A fathers suicide.

I was very sorry to read your post. It had caught my attention because I lost my father at the same age. It was almost 20 years ago. I remember him as a good man, so it is hard to figure out why this had to happen. Like you, I had so many questions. Even now in my 30s I still feel like like a lost child sometimes. There is still the why and the feeling of being cheated out a normal life. No one will ever really understand how you feel. No medicine or therapy will ever justify what your father did. I have survived 20 years past my own fathers suicide, but I still wonder why and question my own purpose on this planet. I never blame him though and I never blame myself. The poem you wrote is impressive. I know your are hurting, but evident by your post and poem, you can be a strong and smart individual. Soon you will be older and wiser. In a position to help your mother and siblings more. Enduring this will make you stronger even more. You have a unique perspective now, one you can use to make the lives of people around you better. I wrote a passage to maybe help people understand why this all happens, but it is hardly complete. It does not solve anything, but maybe provides insight to people who may not understand what you, I and many others go through.

"A person is born and ultimately they have two options, to live or die. No one wants to die, but for some or even many, the option of life is also undesirable. We are raised to be successful, to be winners. It is pounded into our heads the potential we have. But, why? Not everyone will be an astronaut or a rockstar or the leader of a country. We as a society are telling these people that if you are not successful, you must be a loser, you are worthless. People need motivation, but not like that. Never blame the people who are depressed. Never blame yourself for losing a loved one in such a way."

It is ok to blame the world, just try not to hate it. Most people have no idea what their impact on others is. It is up to us, the survivors, to inform the world of what we need to do better.

Remember, you are now wiser and stronger. It may not feel like it now, but it is true.

Last edited by Forest; 02-15-16 at 02:38 PM.
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