I never had any real friends nor the drive to find any. I feel disconnected from the world and don't have any motivation to do anything. It's like why should I do anything when I am gonna die anyway. We all gonna die and nothing matters then anymore. I came to that realization a few years ago and since then I feel just empty and a big void. I often don't know what to do, so I play video games all day and try to get acceptable grades in school, to not upset my parents too much.