What I want from life

So the good news is lately I'm feeling a bit better about myself. I like myself to tell the truth. I wouldn't want to be anyone else. I just wish I had better opportunities, better life, better things to do than I did but that doesn't matter anymore.

The truth is I don't feel Inferior to people anymore. In fact I feel superior to most people now. Which is a very good thing. I am a unique person who is capable of many great things and who has much to offer' I've come a long way from my past low self esteem. I don't mean to brag but I am now seeing myself in a much better way than I have in the past.

What I want from life are basically these things:

- to have a lover. A girl who I love and loves me back. I don't care about sex and superficial things relating to relationships. To me emotional bonds are much more important. Don't mistake that for me not wanting s physical relationship. That's not what I mean at all. Getting physical with her is just as important. What I mean is being in true love with a girl who will spend her life with me. That is what I want. I already found the perfect girl I love so much ( the girl I mentioned in my previous threads) but as I have already mentioned she already has a partner who she loves long before we met.

-I want to have real friends who actually enjoy my company. People I can go out and live life with. By that I mean live in excitement, do stuff, have fun, people I can actually9fit in with that I actually like and want to be around. People that will en my friends for a lifetime. People I can have great adventures with and great memories.

- I want to be able to travel the entire world. Experience all types of people and cultures. Make friends all over the world. Try to help and improve the lives and as many people who are in need all around the world. I want to adventure all over the world with my friends and lover. Happy and loving life.

- I want to develop skills that will enhance my abilities as a person. For example, different languages, scientific, medical skills and knowledge as well as improving my physical aesthetics. Skills that are important in maintaining control over my life. Skills that will enable me to assert myself around others so I will no longer become controlled by others and instead it will be me controlling my surroundings, reality, people. Basically what I am trying to say is developing skills that will make me a superior person that is no longer concerned of other peoples opinions and actions. To become a confident person. To be able to be the one who dominates others.

That is pretty much the basics. I might add a bit more to what I want from life later on but this is pretty much the main stuff. Basically to no longer be the jealous loser in life who feels inferior to others and instead become the winner that has power and dominance over others. The person that can control his own life and no longer cares about others nor feels any inferiority/jealousy towards them anymore.

How can I make these dreams a reality? The wonderful news is that I am only 20 so I have a lot of time to make this a reality.

I think a better attitude to take is the Alan Watts approach of "I don't know what I want because I don't know myself and I never can." This is the zen buddist approach.

This is the great mystery of life. It doesn't want to be grasped it wants to stay ever elusive and not reveal its secrets. And you are as much a part of this mystery as anyone else. Does that make any sense?

I'm glad to hear you're feeling better and that your outlook is more positive. You have a long list of goals that you want from life---and the good news is that you are still so young and that you have plenty of time to achieve all of your goals. The truth is that you are neither inferior nor superior to other people, but rather that you are a unique and valuable person in your own right, independent of comparisons to others.

Sounds exciting. You just have to go out and meet people whether its in the movies, grocery store, park, gym, public library, beach. Go up to them and talk. You can also sign up for classes dancing, ect. You'll meet people with similar interests like you. I should probably have this list too. Too bad I'm shy and its impossible for me.