im 20 years old and i work in a food factory full time, 12 hours a day on a rotating shift pattern where i do 3 days one week, 4 days the next and so forth like that, and its classed as full time cos i do 34 and a half one week and 46 the next..
i absolutely LOATHE this job.. ive worked there 2 and a half years and it has been hell..
the managers and supervisors treat me like shit, i have to work with people who speak no English at all (im not racist it just annoys me that they come to work in my country without bothering to learn any English) and i get left in charge of them and therefore i cant tell them how to do things cos they dont understand and i get in trouble when they do things wrong, i have to work in cold, cramped conditions with loads of noise all around me of people shouting and machinery and it makes me feel uneasy and sick..
i actually feel physically sick having to go there each morning cos i dread it so much.. i start at 6am.. this place is the main reason im taking anti-depressants cos it is hell working there for me and i feel like crying when im there...
sometimes i cant bear the thought of going there so i leave in the morning so my parents think im going to work and then just drive around all day then come home and say i finished early.. they always know when i havnt been to work tho, im not a very good liar.. yet i lie to them all the time about work.. saying ive been when i havnt... and theyre dissapointed in me for it.. i know they are..
my dad is this really hard working guy who everyone respects both at home and at work.. and im not him.. mum and dad think i should be tho..
so today and yesterday i couldnt face work cos i was feeling so bad.. so i just drove around for hours then went home and lied to them again saying i had been to work.. mum knows i havent.. and she knows im just gonna do the same thing tomorrow... i dont care about the opinions of my bosses because they are complete shit-head-fuck-face-bastards, but i dont want to dissapoint my parents..
so yeah, i despise my job and enjoy fantasizing about torturing and killing my bosses.. and its not like i can change my job cos there are no jobs around where i live or anywhere nearby.. i dont know what to do..
i cut myself all the time and that helps for a while but later on i feel like shit.. i feel depressed, and disgusted with myself for being like this, and upset that my parent think i am lazy and just avoiding work because i dont feel like working.. thats not true, if i found a job with a boss who treated the employees with respect then i would be more than happy to work hard and do as much as i could for them.. but i cant do that where i work..
so, thats just about it... thanks for reading.