Being more successful than friends

ferrarisnowday · 02-28-2010, 11:32 PM

Just shows how everything is relative, kuroneko, or maybe I should just call you black cat ;-)

My issue isn't so much that I feel guilty about it or that I wish they'd aspire to more (though that is an aspect), but it's more that I get the feeling they actively resent the opportunities I've had and the chances/effort I've put into things. More how to deal with their reactions to me, rather than how to deal with my reactions to them.

Blueprint · 03-04-2010, 11:02 AM

Dont let others shame you for your path. You are correct to look for more and get more if it is what you want. You can work towards what you want and get it, just like you did in finishing ur degree. Its not ur fault that you have student loans (i have 63K and no job)

I love keeping old friends and knowing their place. Make some new friends who are not comparing whole life histories and salary. Find some friends who can hang out on ur terms.

Just a few of my ideas.

ferrarisnowday · 03-04-2010, 06:11 PM

Thanks for the extra input Blueprint.

I have been putting some efforts into turning some acquaintanceships I have in this city into friendships. I guess it's a slow process, and almost feels like dating, lol. Though to be honest I haven't even done anything with anybody yet, I've just initiated contact and kinda put out the "hey if you're ever bored" sorta feelers.

I have to disagree with you on one point though, it's entirely my fault that I have student loans! Sure, it's possible that you don't fully understand the impact they'll have on you, or you got more than you needed, but it's still not a forced thing....though in some families/communities it is a highly recommended thing, which almost feels forced.

strawberry bitch · 03-14-2010, 11:35 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ferrarisnowday

Thanks for the continued input everyone.

I guess the old saying rings true: Misery loves company.

.

agree with it 100%. they should be proud and happy for you. but hey, envy.. is a malicious feeling...

and i think personally that if u busted ur arse to have a career and make a living of it, you are entitled to be compensated to get the money you deserve!! i know the job market is on the plunge this days.. and not to mention the student loans.. **sighs** im on the same boat as u are in that regard.. is really hard to make ends meet, but again when your done paying back, you should be able to enjoy ur career and make a decent living out of it!! nothing wrong with that, u earned it after all!!!

ferrarisnowday · 03-14-2010, 03:56 PM

That's another thing though, sometimes I don't feel like I earned it or that I busted my ass. And sometimes I feel that way when I'm with them and I think maybe that's what bothers them sometimes too. i feel like four years of washing dishes or flipping burgers is about as hard as four years of college (in different ways of course), and that my parents helped pay for about a third of my schooling doesn't help either; I've heard them make comments like "We'll not everybody's parents have money" and it's like, huh? My dad works in a factory, it's not like I'm rich and had some trust fund to grab money from, they did take out some loans but....idk. Even if someone were rich and had a trust fund to grab from, there's nothing inherently wrong with that, part of life is setting up your children for a good life.

I think what they dont' get is that what disappoints me the most about it is that college isn't that much harder than real life. It's not like I sold out, it's more like I said "hey I could either go or not go and exert the same amount of effort for 4 years...but after those 4 years I'll start enjoying a little bit of reward". Eh, just a rant I guess! lol

Thanks, strawberry

lizzy · 03-15-2010, 08:33 AM

i think ur friends donno how to deal with the choices they made and it appeared that even though u were practically the same, u are not actually now...
its hard for them to deal with this
i guess that often ppl say such things becoz denying that what ure doing is good makes them feel a little better, alittle safer
i say - dont feel bad about urself, juts try to accept that not only u need understanding but they too.
what i mean ppl need to say these things to protect themselves. u dont have to share their point of view, u can just accpet that they feel bad about someone's successes and just be indulgent towards their attitude... maybe its just HARD for them to be nice about this but maybe they are nice ppl altogether...