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wondering if anyone can help me

This is a discussion on wondering if anyone can help me within the Depression forums, part of the Depression Forums category; It seems like it always takes time to find quality people in my experience. That's just life, the way it ...

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Old 02-05-17, 12:13 PM   #71
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It seems like it always takes time to find quality people in my experience. That's just life, the way it goes.... Good things take time.

I hope you are enjoying the day today, perhaps watching Superbowl this evening.
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Old 02-06-17, 10:06 AM   #72
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Sometimes you need to go through a hundred people to find one good one. I think it would be helpful for you to find someone who's been through at least some of what you've been through. Someone who can truly understand and relate.

Binge watched a season of this crazy show on netflix call the santa clarita diet. kind of a spoof on zombie stuff. Then I did watch the superbowl which was just unbelievable. Hope you had a good weekend as well. I bowled like crap this weekend and was seriously down about it but i bounced back. Not gonna worry about it. It is what it is.
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Old 02-07-17, 08:56 PM   #73
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I'm glad you enjoyed Superbowl and were 'above' the not so great game of bowling! I liked the Superbowl but it's a funny thing that the same team plays okay, then suddenly can win like the other team is a group of clumsys over and over, year after year. Still, it is always such fun to watch the amazing athletic skills of the teams at Superbowl!

I'm sure friendships will develop after a while. I went back to work today to get a document from management and lots of people asked when I'm coming back. A few told me they need me to come back because I do a good job, which was nice to know. I had some nice conversations and left feeling happier. Sometimes friendships come from work but I try to keep my options open. Having stable work location/living area helps too, but sometimes you just luck into them. In time I will have wealth of good friendships locally. I do have a good friend in my husband but I agree, it is important to have other friendships.
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Old 02-08-17, 11:05 AM   #74
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You got me thinking that there should be a match.com for people who are kinda on the outside looking in. Have it not be just for dating either but for best friends or casual friends or just support. You could also have so many boxes to check too. Abused, shy, low self esteem, hard to fit in...etc etc etc. Was thinking of the phrase "one man's garbage is another man's treasure" and it's true. For some people the needle is almost impossible to thread. Wouldn't something like this make it at least somewhat easier? Personally, I need someone who would be ok with the fact that I've never been married, that I'm sensitive, that i've kinda lived in somewhat of a bubble but I'm a good person who would treat you with respect and love. Maybe I need someone who was in a shitty marriage with someone who was insensitive and was emotionally shallow. To that person I might look pretty good. Or maybe you can just make a friend who is just a specific friend. Maybe you love to go sit in a coffee shop so you find someone who's company you enjoy who also likes to do that and that's the extent of your friendship but you have someone you can call to do that with. Idk sounds lovely to me
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Old 02-09-17, 01:29 PM   #75
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Yah, I understand how you mean. I have wished for some way to meet people too. Some not just for sex kind of meeting groups. I thought I had found one when i first came to the city but it turned out to be a fake add.

I'm sitting at home with a lot to do today and a headache. It isn't a migraine that I can tell, I had one once, but still there. I need to do some diagnostic work on my car, possibly fix some stuff under the hood or maybe have to take out and replace the gas pump in the back fuel tank. I have to apply for jobs today too because in order for me to get unemployment while I'm waiting for the authorization to drive again, I have to still apply for work to get unemployment benefits. It's a process but I try to appreciate where life has brought me.
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Old 02-13-17, 12:12 PM   #76
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you work on your own car? you must have an older car i'm guessing. I would have thought you could have gotten on disability instead of unemployment given the fact you were working and the company is not letting you return just yet. Bowled somewhat better this week but still not up to my standards but I think i've got it now. I expect to bowl well this coming weekend. Watched a movie on netflix that was surprisingly good. There is something about a movie that has a stillness about it that just sucks me right in. I think the fact that it's slow moving and quiet gives it the intensity that I crave. No action just dialog but not even alot of dialog but body language and facial expressions. I really enjoy stuff like that. kind of came to a hard realization this weekend that I need to treat my laziness like alcoholism. I don't know how I'm going to work it yet but I'm thinking maybe sunday's can be my day of rest and if I have trouble getting back on track on monday's then I will make it half a sunday. Once I stop moving i become paralyzed and spend all my time mentally badgering myself over it. It's a vicious cycle I've had most of my life and if i solved just that one thing I'm betting I'd be better off for it. We shall see.
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Old 02-16-17, 05:51 PM   #77
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Yah I do my own car work to an extent. My main car/truck is a 2003 Subaru, which I've had since it was brand new and was my only new one. I also have an old 99 Saturn wagon, which is actually a harder car in my opinion to work on because they cleverly placed some of the things you need to access fairly frequently in hard to reach places, like the oil filter behind the right wheel. The wagon is a right hand drive that I use for delivery with the post office so I don't drive it as often. It needs less frequent maintenance then the Subaru, but many things are in their own unique place under the hood compared with the Subaru, so learning how to care for it has been fun. I started to do auto work years ago on an 83 Toyota Corolla, which was a good starter car I should have never gotten rid of. Those older Toyotas had engines that never quit. I don't have a shop nor the expertise to dive into an engine rebuild, but I do much of the smaller stuff and I'm alright tackling some of the stuff like easy to reach seals on the engine- like the valve cover gaskets in some cars. That depends on placement of the engine and if I can reach them without practically removing the engine. I don't like to pay someone a bundle of money to do a simple thing like replace an alternator, battery, change spark plugs and wires, oil change, etc, when I can usually do it for a little effort and a couple dings in my knuckles at the most. If I had a LOT of money or no time to spare for a harder job I'd pay someone else, but for now I have more time then money so I've always done it myself. If I need advice I try to keep a working relationship with people who know more then I do for car work and then I can ask for their expertise. Speaking of car work, I have to do an oil change on my car today, which means I've got to get 4 quarts of oil since I have the new filter already. I promised myself I'd do that because it needs to be done and I've been relatively lazy and slept a lot today outside of that.

I'm in the same boat as you are for the way that sitting still is bad for me. The less I do, the less I feel like I can do and the more tired/frustrated I can be, the worse I feel, so the even less I do.... etc. It's a bad cycle. I have to watch myself about that right now because until I get back to being overworked on the job, I'm stuck being mostly at home and not having the money to do some of the more basic things I'd like to do. When I have to ration my money out for gas and groceries I most certainly can't go for joy rides and spend a little just for fun, so I spend a lot of time at home when I might otherwise go somewhere and its easy for me to get down.

I can't tell if disability is possible. From what it looked like to me unemployment is easy to get and disability can not only follow you around in later work but it also looked like it would be a long process to get it. Being approved for it as opposed to being told that I'm just supposed to go get another job, when all I am really doing is waiting 3 months to go back to my old job, it just seemed like a big step to take. Especially in case it kind of follows you around, I thought it might be best not to claim disability status and get that mountain of paperwork rolling downhill.

I just called my neurologist's office to find out about what all I have to show or do to prove that I'm seizure free for the last 3 months when I come back in on the 13th of next month. Hopefully they don't need any special exams or tests because I don't have any money to go see anyone. All I can manage is the copay to go see the doc under the insurance, and that'll be a stretch all by itself. Working from the equivalent of only one income instead of 2 has put a real damper on financial life. The lady I spoke with at his office said she'll check with the doctor and call me back. (cross fingers)
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Old 02-17-17, 09:32 AM   #78
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well, I'm impressed that you can do some work on cars. I did some work on my 76 chevy luv truck but not much. My dad was really good working on cars and home improvement stuff but he had zero patience and zero time to teach me anything. I was the kid holding the flash light feeling like an idiot. Hope you can get back to work soon. I would hate being in limbo like that.

So yesterday was kinda the first day of my new routine. Get up early enough to make myself 2 scrambled eggs and 2 pieces of toast. Eat like 2 cans of tuna with a little mayo, pickles and onions for lunch and then a lean cuisine for dinner. Did some situps and did 2 miles on the treadmill. I have 11 weeks until my vegas trip so hopefully this new routine will shed some pounds. Starting weight is 215, so realistically i should be in the low 180's by the 11th week. My goal is 170 to 175.

feel like I'm gonna bowl well tonight but we'll see. yeah disability is a pain in the ass but they did not fire you but i guess its possible you can do unemployment. when the brewery shuts down for the holidays if a union guys has no vacation time left he can file for unemployment for the week or two he is off. so maybe you are some version of that idk. it's probably better for your company if you do unemployment but it just makes no sense to me. You would be at work right now if not for a health/safety issue, which sounds like the very definition of disability ins. but you are right about it being like untangling christmas tree lights in order to get on it. I've know some guys here that went out on disability and said it was absolutely a brutal process.
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Old 02-17-17, 10:21 AM   #79
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That's my understanding too, that it's a lengthy and insensitive process. I suppose that means you only go on it when you have to. :)

I hope you enjoy yourself in Vegas. I've been through it once. I drove in one side and out the other on my way to Gardnerville NV to meet my mother to deal with the estate of her parents who had both passed and lived in Gardnerville for about the last 10 years of life. Some time it would be a lot of fun to go. I've seen some shows on TV that I understand are a daily occurrence in Los Vegas; it always looked like a stupendously exciting place to go but somehow I've never managed to visit.

Weight loss is a difficult task, especially if you suffer from depression or mood troubles. I applaud your efforts and all the positive improvements you make!

I'm feeling uggy this morning. I've got stuff to do but it's not the same as what I'd planned to do today when I went to bed last night. My step daughter cancelled her appointment I was supposed to take her to, and then my husband is no longer going to be at work all day long because they told him they don't need him today either. I have to figure out something and all I really want to do is go back to sleep and pretend that today isn't here.
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Old 02-17-17, 12:34 PM   #80
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Well, i say go to bed. This imposed vacation is not going to last forever so if you feel like sleeping and basically skip the day then you should
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