I can't stop my head! Every time i wake up and every time i fall asleep I cannot stop thinking about a stupid guy who represented so much possiblity for me, but is now with another and refuses to even tell me goodbye.

My brain keeps replaying romantic moments, conversations, etc. from the only 2 damn times we went out! I keep replaying words/promises he said to me and what my responses were.

part of it is my brain trying to figure out what i really did wrong, and part of it is ruminating over what i had very shortly and could have had for much longer.

it's making my depression unbareable. I am trying and trying and TRYING to get him out of my damn head, but i can't!! It's making me day-dream about decapitating myself just to get the thoughts to stop!

I am beyond tired of being alone and unloved and pushed aside.

It's to the point where i am struggling to function...because my head won't stay focused on much of anything else for very long!

I keep trying to sleep and sleep and sleep to make the time pass, but upon going to sleep and waking seems to be the worst time for the painful thoughts.

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I have been trying to verbally say 'stop'. I have tried to convince myself this person doesn't exist and that this was all just a figment of my imagination. And i've also tried naming all these thoughts as 'thought/word vomit' as they are vile to my well being.

nothing is working.
i'm getting more depressed and coming unraveled faster and faster and feeling more pathetic every day.

Wow, I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes my brain just goes and goes over things and I can't read or get to sleep or anything because it just won't shut off. You're not weird for daydreaming like that either, I often think about driving something sharp through my head to drain out the thoughts. I tell myself to shut up a lot, and I've started doing it out loud...

Anyway, I know it's hard, but if you can just manage to focus on something else for a minute or two, and then let yourself get absorbed by what you're doing, you might find you can clear your head for a bit, which helps to get away from the recurring thoughts. I took a psychology class this semester and was interested to learn that depressed people often have repetitive or obsessive thought-patterns. Unfortunately, I'm still trying to work out a way to fix that myself... good luck to you!

yeah...i try to get absorbed in other things, but it doesn't work. I even have a bunch of difficult card games on my cell that i always play before i fall asleep...as it helps tire me out and often helps with the repetitive thoughts. BUT, when they are this bad...i will find myself doing both at the same time!!! I can play the game, even planning out alternate future moves, will STILL ruminating over this stupid guy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i HATE IT!

The only thing that helps is derby practice and i am thankful to have practice tonight. It will help me get through the next couple of days (because then i tend to obsess over what i could have done better and how to improve next time, lol)

i felt like that but only until i thought he wanted me. i did want to get to know him but we never met for some reason at first... so then, after, tried to forget him.. i succeeded!, but he pursued me and turned me towards him if that makes sense. now he won't leave me alone.. it's like he's trying to prove i can't live without him. maybe i just can't live without anyone anymore... i don't really care what he wants anymore.. i wanted to be alone... he never represented much possibility for me, but i think that's how guys think. it's the very reason that i escaped him at first... i didn't want to be part of his world, i wanted to create my own... i don't know why guys think this way, to think of love as opportunity.. no i just wanted love... he was a lot more successful than me and that stopped me for a long time, and it always made me feel bad, because i liked him at the same time... but oh how naive that i believed him afterwards, that it might be love... i'm finally liberated, i just hope he'd stop trying to get my attention.... why guys do it...?

but the guy i spoke about really hurt me with other things....not with not wanting to even have one date with me after eveything... it's why i got thinking about him so much, obsessing that he can hurt me even more...

yeah...this guy was talking about us moving in together and then he suddenly stopped talking to me completely and a week later he posted on facebook that he had found someone new and they are now in a relationship.

i emailed him asking him what happened and for him to just give me a little closure by explaining something to me....instead....he had HER email me!!!

that pissed me off royally for several days, not that she said anything bad, just that he let her do HIS dirty work!!

so i fired off a VERY vile response and felt free for several days...it's been about a week since i sent off that email and it's, once again, getting harder and harder each day NOT to think about him.

it really hurts A LOT!