Starting Over At 58..With Nothing
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Starting Over At 58..With Nothing

This is a discussion on Starting Over At 58..With Nothing within the Depression forums, part of the Depression Forums category; Well, at least I'm not on the suicide forum this morning so I guess I'm feeling better. Been up since ...

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Old 08-22-10, 08:04 AM   #1
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Default Starting Over At 58..With Nothing

Well, at least I'm not on the suicide forum this morning so I guess I'm feeling better.
Been up since about 4 AM...I'm sorting out my stuff from Evelyn's and packing my things in the Van. Today I got to go back to work so I'm taking everything with me. We normally stay in a motel during the week wherever we are working so I guess when the weekend comes I'll just stay there.
All I wanted was to be special to someone, to have someone who cares for me and thinks I'm special.
I thought Eve and I were getting back on our feet. We both have good jobs now, although mine takes me out of town during the week and sometimes over the weekend. We been getting along good, everything was going well I thought.
Precious (our Pekingese dog) keeps coming around wanting to get on my lap and be held. She knows something is wrong and I wish I could explain to her. Even the Kitty knows something isn't right. I love them both so much, they have been with me for years, been in the truck with us, been through 30 some states and we were all together like a family. Now I guess I'll never see them again.
Guess Eve will have a surprise when she gets home. guys are the closest to friends I have...
I'm not such a bad person...I don't know why I cant find happiness. I guess most on here are in the same boat, in fact most here have it so much harder than I do.
A couple years ago I owned a nice home, a Corvette and Harley, had nice things. Eve and I had just got married, I thought in a few years we'd sell and move to the Philippines. Then Bush's economy came along. Now, all I have is a rusted out 89 Ford conversion van and a few bags of clothing...the van isn't 1/3 full and it's everything I have in the whole world. The only thing that I feel good about is Eve loves The Kitty and Precious as much as I do, so I know they will be cared for.
Sorry for the babble...I don't start threads here all that often but I just had to tell someone.
If I Had Known I'd Live This Long I'd Have Taken Better Care Of Myself...

Last edited by Ella; 01-28-11 at 09:57 AM.
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Old 08-22-10, 09:10 AM   #2
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IM SORRY troll - I dont know what happened really here but you are in my thoughts. As you say Eve loves the kitty and precious so you dont have to worry about them...... MY THOUGHTS ARE WITH YOU........

(((((((((((((((((((((((Troll)))))))))))))))))))))) )))))))
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Old 08-22-10, 11:34 AM   #3
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i'm sorry to hear about u and eve, did u post more about that on another thread? i'll look for it. if not, u can talk about it here if u want. up to u.
so sorry things are falling apart for u.

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Old 08-22-10, 09:12 PM   #4
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I'm sorry you're feeling so down now. Not really sure what had actually happen between you and Eve. I hope there's some lights.

I assume you and Eve have been together for quite sometime, it must have been some kind of wanting each other quite well. I hope you both don't fall apart due to economic reason.
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Old 08-22-10, 09:42 PM   #5
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Feel better soon. Don't give up.
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Old 08-27-10, 06:23 PM   #6
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Lurker here.....never had any intention to register, but something about troll's post really bothers me....

"I left Evelyn a note saying if anything happens to me to come on here and post"
...I really don't like the sounds of that. Hopefully troll will post here soon and let everyone know he's alright.
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Old 08-27-10, 08:48 PM   #7
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Hi there Troll, I've posted to you before back when you got your new job, have read your posts since then. Please hang in there, I know things look really bleak right now, but you can make it. You are resilient and strong, you have far more value than your possessions and you can weather this storm. And like Blue Girl said, if you want to talk about what happened with Evelyn, you can... take care of yourself, and don't you go anywhere - we'd miss you, and so would many others!
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Old 08-27-10, 09:14 PM   #8
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maybe starting over at 58 is better than not ever starting over at all? I hope so at least.
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Old 08-27-10, 10:48 PM   #9
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Originally Posted by elephantgirl View Post
maybe starting over at 58 is better than not ever starting over at all? I hope so at least.

Part of me thinks the whole term 'starting over' is depressing. It's almost the same as saying that everything that happened before in life was a waste of time. (not saying you're staying this elephant, just the term itself has always struck me as having a negative connotation).

We don't start over, so much as we continue along our journey.

Life is just a big experience. But unfortunately we are taught to see it linearly... to always be building towards something.

So when whatever it was we were building towards doesn't materialize we tend to say that we have to 'start over'.

Goals are great... but life is not linear and it's ultimately not about goals. It's simply an experience... and its no less an experience at 58 than it is at 12 or 40 or 3.

So it's only about 'starting over' if you define it that way. It can just as easily be about "Hmmm what's next in this weird and wacky experience I call life?"

A lot of people don't get to have any more experiences beyond a certain age. Some people die at 20 and that's it, no more earthly experiences... no more 'what's next?'
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Old 08-28-10, 12:02 AM   #10
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Not sure exactly whats up with u and Eve there. But I hope that ur going to take care of yourself Troll.

No doubt bush screwed us. But nothing u can do about that. "Starting Over" sounds so harsh. I like to think of this moments as dips on the rollercoaster, not a stop or a finish.

Hey, i have less now then ever b4, and quite frankly its a blessing. Some of that crap, u really dont need. Sorry about the Harley tho.

Troll, ur working, making some bank. Keep that positive in mind. Keep pushing forward.

Take care Troll.
“Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You.” Dr. Seuss

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War is a racket. The few profit. The many suffer. --Major General Smedley Butler. 2 time congressional Medal of Honor winner.

"The greater the sensibility, the greater the suffering...much suffering." Leonardo da Vinci.

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