I'm in the middle of some challenging changes right now.
1) My marriage of 23 years is coming to an end. My wife & I are starting mediation.
2) My days of hands-on, active parenting are coming to an end. My youngest is 17, and the other two are in University.
3) I was negatively impacted by a job restructuring. I've worked at a job for 10 years, and the changed resulted in my taking a different job at an 18% paycut.
4) I'm becoming more isolated and finding less joy in everyday things. I have to push myself to feign passion for work, where before it was a bit easier.
Although I am the artist of my own life's painting, i'm confused about why these things are happening to me. My marriage just kind of ended with a whimper, not a bang. The work situation really threw me off, because i've gotten a lot of training recently. And the kids, well, they grow up.
16 years ago, when i was extremely busy as a young dad, i'd think about being 50. I'd think "The youngest will be 18 and going to college, and I'll still be young and possibly change careers, start something new."
But that confident person is no longer. I'm 49 now, not 31. My body is different, and my idealism is a lot different too. We have a terrible global economic situation that is stressing 99% of us. The world i imagined years ago is a different place. And the person i imagined years ago doesn't exist anymore; he's a new creature. One big problem is that i can't seem to stay focused on tasks very long. My mind just naturally drifts to my emotions, instead of staying focused on work. And i don't really have any buddies to hang out with. These friendships evaporated away over the past 10 years, even when I tried to maintain them. For whatever reason, I'm sensing people aren't too thrilled to hang with me.
Some of the actions i'm struggling with taking are:
1) Do i see a psychiatrist for help with my down moods and lack of motivation?
2) How do I transition from a person who was married for 23 years, and with the same person for 26 years?
3) Do I look for a new job or deal with the different position at my current company?
4) How do find people to meet up with?
ALL my solid rocks (family/wife/job) are now in flux. And i'm not rallying to the occasion. I'm caught in whirlpools of low motivation.
Ideas and support appreciated.