Outcast in my OWN family =(((
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Outcast in my OWN family =(((

This is a discussion on Outcast in my OWN family =((( within the Depression forums, part of the Depression Forums category; Ok, well my sister asked me to take care of her cat, and said that they were going on a ...

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Old 09-30-09, 05:15 PM   #1
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Thumbs down Outcast in my OWN family =(((

Ok, well my sister asked me to take care of her cat, and said that they were going on a short vacation with her friend Jo-anne-. , and going to New-york- but I actually got a feeling that they were going somewhere with my other sister , to maine, which I went last year only cuz dad was alive- and now that he's not., I am NOT even invited. I guess I know why cuz of mom, and stuff and they needed someone to cat sit. - But I am so feeling like an out-cast and not like I BELONG around them. - They are snobs together- . and I feel odd around them. - , since I am not a snob. - I am enjoying the cat though, but really irks me when they do it behind my back. I guess they didn't think I would find out, but I wrote to my other sister and got a auto-response saying she'll be back in office on MOnday and they are coming back this weekend. - I find that kinda odd. - I am angry - and a bit upset but also a bit not upset I dont' know why, maybe its cuz I know how they are like together? OH well Just had to vent - thanks for replying if anyone reads-. I just am in a slump-
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Old 09-30-09, 06:55 PM   #2
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im sorry that your being left out, it feels terrible i know, im the black sheep in my family, that stuff happens to me too. it makes you feel like your not actually a part of the family. i wish i could say that there was a way to make it not hurt but i haven't found one.
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Old 09-30-09, 08:14 PM   #3
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yeah it sure DOES hurt, and am angry- sorry your family treats u that way too- I guess the only benifit I am getting is the unconditional love of the cat that is alone- he sits on my lap - and makes me feel better- XXOO
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Old 09-30-09, 09:50 PM   #4
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well, what is it?

you wouldn't want to go, right?

so they read the situation, and figured what was best for all, and thought they'd spare your feelings by doing it this way, and were not exactly smart about it...

so, maybe you could just let it be, and pretend you don't know, and choose to assume that they had your interests in mind as well as their own... they might well have thought you'd feel obligated to come along if you knew about it, and knew you'd hate it if you did come along, no? maybe they are just being inept, not mean.

And you get a lapful of warm fuzzy purr out of it.
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Old 10-01-09, 05:44 AM   #5
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hi girl-in-dark-well

I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL. STILL U GOT THE CAT - just try and let it go over your head like i do (the trip-not the cat ) lol.
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Old 10-01-09, 10:26 AM   #6
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I kno how you feel GIDW, (((((((((((comforting hugs)))))))))))))

Hang in there, you are a wonderful person and they are selfish snobs!! Don't let them get you down!
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Old 10-01-09, 11:16 AM   #7
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Well I DID GO LAST YEAR, endless, and I stayed on the beach more. - than be with them. - I can't HELP how I feel inside. - I just feel it. - wouldn't it be NORMAL to feel jealous and this way??- I know they are snobs, and I guess I wouldn't feel I fit in anyway.- but its just the IDEA that they did a trip without me, and I DO NEED ONE TOO, cuz I take care of mom 24 /7 and they get a break from there job- I know my job isn't as stressful as theres, but it can be with mom now having DIArrea, and KNowing they are on a nice beach !- eating good- . I just feel this way sorry- . Its happened in the past, they went to florida without me too. - Thanks Brandy- I do ENJOY the kitty and comforting him. - since he is alone too. - I am also selfish thinking glad its BAD weather . - . Can't help it. I am just feeling like they don't care, - I take care of MOM so they can go as they please- Sorry Thanks for advice- XX
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Old 10-02-09, 11:59 PM   #8
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Yeah, I don't know a thing... it's bound to hurt... I just though maybe I could give you a way to spin it so it wouldn't be so bad... many of the injustices I feel are, at least a little bit, in how I choose to view them. I thought if you had a way to do so, you could choose to see it as; not an affront, not directed at you, not actively being mean to you... which really, it probably isn't; at worst it's a little selfish.

I mean, I sure as shit know I'm to difficult to deal with or even be around, especially if you give a shit about me... I don't much like being around me most of the time... so I try to cut people a little slack when they need a break. I try to balance how much I just am what I am and my need to just do-be-do-be-do with a recognition of what it takes to be around that, and my strength at the time, and their strenght, and I try to be generous when I can and do my best job of being close to normal when I can, and lean on folks for some help (even when that help is just letting me be a crazy ranting potentially violent and certainly scary person w/o freaking about it because you know I don't have to do any of it if you let me talk about it) when I need to, or when I can get away with it.

My family gives me a lot of room, as much as I ask for, but still somehow makes it clear that they care, and I am thankful for that and I spare them as much as I can, and I'm sorry if yours is not as nice to you as that... but a little bit IS in how you see it, and it took me a while to see what they were doing and why, and maybe yours is not so disimilar.
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Old 10-03-09, 02:27 PM   #9
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I dunno, I just am feeling this way- not directed to what your saying, I been through this before, and it ALWAYS hurts. - esp if they now are doing it secretly. and I have ways of finding out. - Thanks for the chat though- I know its probably not to hurt me [them going away ] but that's how I feel, I know I will feel bitter . I just can't help that. XX
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