Hi everybody, I'm new to this forum and I just really need to vent about life. My name is Jake and I just graduated from high school and am going to college this spring. I honestly don't want to go to school any longer, not because I don't want to work towards my career, but because of the social aspect of it. High school for me was a nightmare, I had no friends, girlfriend, or anything. I feel like because I was a social failure in high school, I'll be a failure for the rest of my life. I see and hear about my friends and everybody else dating and going out every weekend, while I'm alone and sad. I feel like I'll never be good enough for anyone I like, I really just want to give up and stop trying because what's the point if I'll never be good enough? I feel so worthless and undesirable and I don't want to see it anymore, I can't even hold down a job because I see couples holding hands, kissing, and I just want to break down and leave wherever I am. I can't go out in public hardly either due to the bitterness and loneliness. Why can't I just be normal? Why do I have to see what I can never have every fucking day of my life? I blame my parents for doing this to me and making me so undesirable and lonely? My best friend talks about all the girls he meets and has sex with. I hate staring at it more than anything though, and what good does it do to try if I'll always get rejected? I'll live in college miserable and lonely and probably ending up killing myself soon if I go on lonely like this any longer.

Hello Jake & welcome :) You know that sentence ''Brightest light can shine from darkest places'' is totally true, even the most unhappy person can become the happiest one and vice versa. Nothing is lost yet, just as you had no friends now you can get brand new ones, same as for girlfriends and relationships. Most of the time our behavior is the only factor why we are alone,or people dont want to hang around us. For me many people,guys,girls do not approach me because of my attitude that screams, dont even think to speak with me or im not interested, even i desire to make new friends and relationships.. We need to change our way of thinking about life,people and specialy the past. You can meet someone new every single day, but with negative thoughts thats impossible. Just try to free yourself a little, free your mind go out there for even 20minutes,go through the crowd,watch,smile,give signs and have positive mind after couple of times things will change :))

I'm nice to people though, I try my best to appear friendly and smile but people don't seem to be interested in me. Probably because I'm just horribly ugly and grotesque. Who could love anyone that looks like me? I've been diagnosed with bdd but I don't think that's the problem, I think the problem is just that I'm too ugly to be loved by anyone even if I do try. My parents will try to "comfort" me and say I look fine, but they're supposed to do that, people would just say that I look fine because they feel sorry for how bad I really do look.

Hi J.

My experience was college was much nicer than high school. Infinitely better!

High school just really sucked for me. But when I went to college suddenly I was surrounded by very decent mature students who actually cared.

I hope you try college. The people are just so much nicer there.

That said, dating in college wasn't as successful as I'd like. Every girl I asked said they were too busy studying and didn't have any time for dating. I did still manage to go on a few dates though.

Also colleges today have counselors to assist you with life. I think they realize happy well adjusted students perform much better, and they want their college to have a good reputation, so they provide lots of counseling services, plus health care (I think they realize sick students don't perform as well.)

The summer after high school was when my clinical depression really started. My parents suggested I go to a psychiatrist and try some medication. I thought that was a stupid idea. But I later capitulated when I realized the world couldn't possibly be as dark and horrible a place as I was seeing it. The problem wasn't with the picture, the problem was with the camera.

I eventually found some medication that worked and I'm so much better now I'm actually fine and normal now.

I'm also studying how to have a conversation, how to have idle chit-chat, how to walk up to a girl and just say, "Hi", (which I haven't worked my way up to yet, but I've seen some youtube videos which are encouraging.)

The best I can offer is hope.

Also venting is very cathartic I've learned. Processing groups like AA, NA, al-anon, nar-anon, etc. are wonderful (if you happen to qualify. Or are familiar with processing groups. They don't fix problems, they just make it OK to have problems.)

Oh, and another group I tried on a lark and discovered is actually quite helpful for me is try taking a class in meditation. Brain scientists say it's very good for the brain. Plus I get to be around people, and I don't have to interact with them or do anything. (in fact meditation is the art of doing nothing, and liking it. I guess maybe that's why some people like fishing, or sunbathing. They're basically doing nothing and enjoying it.) But it does give me an opportunity to meet people before and after the class, if I want to, if I feel like it.

Actually going out there and just meeting people is hard. I'm not there yet. I still need structure in a group setting, rather than just a free for all. But I keep studying how to have conversations and slowly I'm catching on. Plus meditation really helps as it helps me be calm which is really key to success, (or at least key to not caring if you fail because it really doesn't matter because I'm so calm to begin with I don't care if a few people reject me. Plus being calm from meditation really makes others around me more calm which helps them feel comfortable around me and leads to greater success.) Best wishes!

There are no ugly people, just ugly souls. Remember that We are all beautiful in different ways and thats the only truth, some we like more some less because of milion other things and appearances,even those who says beauty is everything and most important thing at the end shows that beauty is nothing if person is horrible. There are days when i feel so ugly or fat or many other things,but when i have positive mind or something nice happens to me, i look myself in the mirror and woow i even say to myself what a beauty.Its all about moment how we are feeling, i saw many ''hot and sexy'' people having no friends because they couldnt function in life, just didnt have that spark to make themself interesting to other people. And what professorclueless said it is hard to meet new people in life general, we are all obsessed with things that are not important and too many judgeful pricks, its hard to make a new friend,gf, or bf. Its hard, but why dont we see that as a chalenge as something we need to conquer and win over our side, at least thats fun

I can't even attract someone initially though, I always get weird stares from people.

It's sad but true... No one cares about a beautiful soul, if you're not attractive no one will approach you, and you'll be more liable to rejection than people who are.

I gave up on the idea of being loved by someone, all that my beautiful soul has given me was "I love you but more in a friends way" or "You're an amazing guy and deserve better than this" and that's about it... I didn't let it get to me, stayed confident and social but nothing ever came out of that. So yeah, if you're not an alpha male your chances of getting someone are slim, Unless you're willing to somehow become one, you're risking a lonely college life.