i want something to look forward to
Take This Life  

Go Back   Take This Life > Challenges > Depression Forums > Depression


i want something to look forward to

This is a discussion on i want something to look forward to within the Depression forums, part of the Depression Forums category; i wish i had something in life to look forward to to get me though these time's im feeling miserable. ...

join us
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 08-26-08, 11:26 AM   #1
Junior Member
 
SuicideBlonde23's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: United States
Posts: 248
My Mood:
Default i want something to look forward to

i wish i had something in life to look forward to to get me though these time's im feeling miserable. i can suck it up and tough things out if i know there's a light at the end of the tunnel. i have no real friends anymore, i am grateful i have people i at least hang out with here but still i get lonely having no one to relate to or have a good friendship with. i never though i'd miss high school! but now i realize i at least had good friends near me that made things not as bad sometimes. i am still in a relationship with a guy who cheated on me, but im torn (like so many people are) because i love him and want to believe he loves me and i want to believe he just made a mistake and is willing to make things up to me. normally i'd look forward to getting through school so i could see him. but now i wonder if he's really anything to be happy to wait around to see again. i have no friends at all at home. i love my parents and want to see them again but they are all i have there. no sibling or other family i'm close with. i am miserable here yet have almost nothing to go back home to. my bf at least turned back to his normal self so i am trying to be hopeful that things will get better with him. it's so hard for me to make new friends as well. i never get along with other girls for some reason. the only friends i have are guy because at first they just want to date me. it seems i either turn them down and they end up as friends or i date them and somehow things go downhill and they turn into a jerk. i'm rantin again about stuff i have been talking about over and over again!! so much of my problem is that i talk about something a million times and people get frustrated helping me because they tell me the same things over and over. my point though is that i just want something to look forward too!! three months here at college is not that long but then what do i do?? i was so happy when i was first with my boyfriend because i thought we were great together and we even talked about getting an apartment together. i want to marry him and i want him to be there and take care of me forever but i'm so scared i am making a mistake being with him. i know however if i loose him it will kill me and i will never find someone else. i just have too many thoughts in my head (i even keep a journal and talk about all these things but i still need to talk more!)
__________________
~This is the story of a girl, who cried a river and drowned the whole world~
SuicideBlonde23 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-26-08, 11:55 AM   #2
Banned
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Derby, england
Posts: 262
Default Re: i want something to look forward to

thats not true...we here at ttl are one big family...we all care about each other and were all friends...why dont you make yourself something to look forward to...a concert...making new friends...reuniting with your old ones, etc...you are not alone in this world, we are all with you...here to lend a listening ear...a place were you will fit in no matter what... {{{{{{hugs}}}}}} keep fighting :)
Fallen Angel Jon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-26-08, 05:46 PM   #3
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Under your couch
Posts: 3,406
Default Re: i want something to look forward to

You are not being rational when you say you will never find anyone else. You found this person, right? You proved it can happen, so there is absolutely no reason why it can't happen again if he turns out not to be the one. But give it time. Let the relationship form naturally, and don't rush it. Particularly not marriage. You will know if the time is right, and you will know if it's the right thing to do. Trust yourself. Learn to tell your true feelings and let them guide you.

Create your own light at the end of the tunnel. Start with graduating from college. In fact, being at college is not being in a tunnel, it's being in an open space that is unfamiliar to you. It will take time to adjust to the new setting and new people, but you will gain valuable life experience, even if some of it is bad. You are not trapped in a tunnel. You can leave college at any time if it turns out that is for the best. It's not the end of the world, you will just be pursuing a different course down a different road.

You have choices, you have decisions to make. Don't be afraid, and focus on the positives of your situation and surroundings.

Take care.
Juno is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-31-08, 05:27 PM   #4
Junior Member
 
SuicideBlonde23's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: United States
Posts: 248
My Mood:
Default Re: i want something to look forward to

i see what you guys are saying, but lately that has not been the case. somehow at one point i was able to make friends and form relationships, but now i just can't. i can't tell if it's me or if i'm just around the wrong kind of people here. i also feel that no matter how hard i try to get to know someone, things go to hell and they are gone from my life soon anyways. i can't help but notice too, how the kind of guys i end up with always seem to follow the same pattern and act the same way, except i can't tell that until after all i said and done. i'm getting to the point now that i feel so disgusted and humiliated with myself and the things that happen in my life, that i'd never feel good enough for anybody now. it's hard to feel that good things in my future (if they come) will even matter since these other things have happened to me. i just have felt for the last few months (since jan.) that something is so wrong in my life. i felt like things felt a certain way, and now they dont, and like my life was going in one direction, and now its not. i've said this all too in another post, but i am saying it again. i almost feel as though i changed my own fate, and now everything that comes after that point is just so wrong.
__________________
~This is the story of a girl, who cried a river and drowned the whole world~
SuicideBlonde23 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-31-08, 06:12 PM   #5
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: Under your couch
Posts: 3,406
Default Re: i want something to look forward to

Give yourself the time and space to get your thoughts straightened out. Don't feel pressured to make new friends, let it come naturally. Give yourself something to look forward to. Decide to go to watch a movie or a show, or visit somewhere you haven't been before. Go do some sports activity or something positive. That will also help you break out of your mindset.
Juno is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 08-31-08, 09:51 PM   #6
Banned
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Derby, england
Posts: 262
Default Re: i want something to look forward to

its not ture that you cant form friendships...were your friends...
Fallen Angel Jon is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-08, 02:10 PM   #7
Experienced Member
 
heartfilledlies's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: alone in this hell
Posts: 2,233
My Mood:
Default Re: i want something to look forward to

i think i know what u mean about being lonely. i onli had a few friends before i graduated from high school that was jsut a few months ago and now i have none! at least u have a boyfriend, but have you actually talked to him about the whole cheating thing?that might something thats holding you down. then theres the fact that ur thinking about marrying hte guy who cheated on you while u just started college. i dont know how the whole cheating hting happened so im not going to say anything about it but maybe you should bring up the subject, or reopen it at least.
and yea, im no good at making friends either. like i said, i onli had a few before now i have none! some people are and some ppl arent...but now ur my friend and u can say the same thing a million times over, ill still be here we all will!
__________________
a strong woman is one who can build a firm foundation from the bricks thrown at her

Is this the life that you lead or the life that's led for you? Will take the road that's been laid out before you

the sun will set on this my dear
your labors aren't in vain
your blistered and your burned from it
your wounds are gonna heal
steadfast my love the end is near
just keep your eyes ahead
grab hold of me
I'll help you there
your never on your own
heartfilledlies is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-08, 03:49 PM   #8
Junior Member
 
SuicideBlonde23's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: United States
Posts: 248
My Mood:
Default Re: i want something to look forward to

its great to know you guys are here. that's why i love coming here and i'm on almost everyday now lol. i keep saying the same thing over and over again here and i feel that i am just being stubborn and not listening. but the support is appreciated all the same. i'm so glad to hear i have you guys as friends though! :) it's difficult to deal with anything without someone there by your side.
__________________
~This is the story of a girl, who cried a river and drowned the whole world~
SuicideBlonde23 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-01-08, 03:50 PM   #9
Senior Member
 
ozzycat's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: ohio
Posts: 2,668
My Mood:
Default Re: i want something to look forward to

((((((Blonde23))))))
ozzy
__________________
If I sorted it out,
If I knew all about this one thing,
Wouldn't that be something?
ozzycat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-02-08, 03:21 PM   #10
New Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 37
Default Re: i want something to look forward to

i have nothing to look forward to , my life is empty , when u have nothing to live for , u just lose the will to eat , to sleep , to walk , and to live .
some1 is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:23 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.3.2
Shoutbox provided by vBShout v6.2.1 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2014 DragonByte Technologies Ltd. Runs best on HiVelocity Hosting.