There are often times when I hate myself for being the way I am too. I have allowed my anxiety to cripple me after a bad experience three years ago. It has caused me to alienate myself from everyone, it took me almost 2 years before I had enough confidence to venture out of the house, life keeps throwing un-avoidable challenges my way where I have no choice but to sink or swim. I hate that in this life you have very little control over yourself, everything forces you to do things you don't want to do e.g. shop for food, work for money, fetch for love. This is a pre-fabricated world and I think we are sad because we are confused, life was never meant to be this complicated.
Evolution is a great thing don't get me wrong we are blessed in this era but it is just as much as a curse. And at the end of the day when you go to bed angry or upset with yourself, hating yourself and wanting to leave this world there is only one thing to do. Suck it up and sink or swim. Sometimes you just have to learn to accept what you have or push yourself harder to make changes. I am only 26 but I do not want to be afraid to leave my house, drive a car, fly in a plane or any other situation which makes me weak and vulnerable for the rest of my life. At some point I am going to have to push myself out the door and if death happens to meet me there (which is partially what I'm hiding from) I have to accept that I can't hide forever. And neither can you. It's tough to go every single day with love and praise for yourself but if you just take things one day at a time and try to forget the past and only look forward you will find some form of peace.
In short you need to find the things you hate about yourself and really look at them and find a way to fall in love with them because those things are like signatures. It is probably something visible, something you know people see and judge so it is up to you to find a way to make it stand out and send a message that it is something to be admired not banished. Like a Mole on your face, they are pretty un-sightly in general (I have one on each side of my left eye, use to hate them but because I knew they were never going anywhere I made them apart of me because they are.) but if you love it and flaunt it and make it apart of your signature then others will see it the same way.
We are all human and whether we admit it or not we all experience this self-loathing from time to time. The world puts too much pressure on people to be something they can never be, to have things they can never have, to essentially be perfect, healthy, wealthy, beautiful, handsome, with many lovers or just one good one. Thats why we are so depressed, no one will ever achieve that status of perfection, even the ones who seem to will in time feel the pain that all humans feel. Confusion.
If there was no rain you would never know just how beautiful the sun was. Keep your chin up and try to make small changes, changes are challenges and challenges are hard but you need to find something that motivates you to get out there and do it.
Loving yourself should be a passion and you can start by showing you love yourself by taking care of yourself. Something as simple as nourishing your skin with lotion after a shower shows that you are willing to fight for a positive future one that starts with you being comfortable in your own skin. Next to skin comes under garments, always wear some nice under garments even if no one ever sees them it is one way to feel sexy without being sexy. Instant confidence boost, for a man or a woman.
Take care of your skin people!!