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Old 06-25-10, 11:25 PM   #1
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I'm sad tonight. I don't know why all of a sudden I feel like this, like I'm just all alone in the world and that I don't fit in any place, with anyone. No one seems to understand how I feel, never mind caring about it. I don't even feel like I belong here, I make my posts here and there's just this underlying feeling of "why bother, no one cares about your trivial problems"...

It's times like this that I wonder how much longer I can survive this horrible, uncaring world.

I do 'better' and then I forget that I'm sick with depression... but then it comes back. And it's not even triggered off by anything that I can recognize, or I'd take steps to prevent it from happening, but I never know when it's coming...

I hate this. I hate myself. So much. I wish that something would happen to me so that I wouldn't have to go through this emptiness anymore.
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Old 06-26-10, 12:33 AM   #2
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@Cathalain

For what it's worth, I am also sad tonight.

I struggle everyday with no one truly being able to understand me.
But I think I might be able to understand you.

I too often feel like I don't belong anywhere, plus I also have a devestating pessimistic attitude about posting stuff, but it's kinda weird that well I see that you think that no one cares about your problems...well...I guess I do care somewhere...deep down.
I care Cathalain... I do. Lol as cheesy as that may sound haha
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Old 06-26-10, 02:26 AM   #3
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cathalain View Post
I'm sad tonight. I don't know why all of a sudden I feel like this, like I'm just all alone in the world and that I don't fit in any place, with anyone. No one seems to understand how I feel, never mind caring about it. I don't even feel like I belong here, I make my posts here and there's just this underlying feeling of "why bother, no one cares about your trivial problems"...

It's times like this that I wonder how much longer I can survive this horrible, uncaring world.

I do 'better' and then I forget that I'm sick with depression... but then it comes back. And it's not even triggered off by anything that I can recognize, or I'd take steps to prevent it from happening, but I never know when it's coming...

I hate this. I hate myself. So much. I wish that something would happen to me so that I wouldn't have to go through this emptiness anymore.
Cathalain - you say that you do better and at times you don't feel depressed but then you suddenly forget that you are sick with depression and it comes back and that you're not sure what triggers it off - do you think you have answered you're own question in what you have said? - you do good when you don't think about your depression but once you remember it, it suddenly comes back - is this trying to tell you something - that maybe your own depression is brought about by you remembering that you are sick with depression?

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Old 06-29-10, 11:52 PM   #4
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I know this feeling all too well, but I find that instead of focusing on where I do and do not fit in, I try just accepting what I'm feeling. When you are more accepting of youself, you tend to just be more relaxed in whatever feeling and then the people will come. This is not to say just wallow in your misery, but sometimes a little bit of wallowing is what you need. Accept your feelings and try not to beat yourself up over them. It will pass.
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Old 06-30-10, 12:12 AM   #5
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I feel this way often. I was feeling isolated and like an outcast earlier tonight. The advice above is really good. I will try to accept who I am and will hopefully be able to cope with these feelings.
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Old 07-04-10, 05:31 PM   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by shoey7176 View Post
Cathalain - you say that you do better and at times you don't feel depressed but then you suddenly forget that you are sick with depression and it comes back and that you're not sure what triggers it off - do you think you have answered you're own question in what you have said? - you do good when you don't think about your depression but once you remember it, it suddenly comes back - is this trying to tell you something - that maybe your own depression is brought about by you remembering that you are sick with depression?
I am sorry for the late update, but I actually had to ponder the above statement for a while. For some reason, at first this actually made me angry and I just didn't even want to come back to address it, because in my twisted, cracked mind it sounded like I was being accused of causing my own problems - if that makes sense. In some ways it still comes off that way to me, but....

In answer to it, though, it's not that thinking about it makes it so. I have depressive attacks and when I think about them, it makes it worse, yes. But causing them in the first place? No, not so. I wouldn't wish this crap on anyone, if I had the ability to just turn this off by not thinking about it I'd take something to my own head to destroy the part of me that thinks about it - believe me.

Things are slowly getting worse, things are deteriorating for me, and it's not because I think about anything.... I do my best to make sure my mind is blank and empty as possible...

...sleep is my only relief from the pain right now.

I am so scared that one day I really will think that suicide is the answer again and make yet another attempt....
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