Brother will always be better than me
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Brother will always be better than me

This is a discussion on Brother will always be better than me within the Depression forums, part of the Depression Forums category; I've always felt this way but for some reason it seems to be crushing me today. Me and my older ...

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Old 08-20-10, 09:29 PM   #1
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I've always felt this way but for some reason it seems to be crushing me today. Me and my older brother look EXACTLY alike. I've hated it since i was very little. My mother use to make us wear the same t shirt when we were young so we looked like twins and I hated her for it. Even then I felt like I needed to be different and be an individual. Now that im 20 and hes 22 its worse. We still look exactly alike but hes taller, better looking, funnier, has more friends, more girlfriends and more fun than me. We have the exact same face, but my nose is bigger and crooked. We have the exact same body but Im extremely skinny and my back is hunched while he has a very full look with beautiful posture. Everytime I feel like I've surpassed him in an area he comes and shows me just how genetically superior he is. And you know the worst part about all of it is? Hes NICE!!! He doesnt bully me or make fun of me and theres times when we have great fun together. He even encourages me but i know deep down that if i ever started to get better than him at something he would become jelous and devote all his time to showing me up. Im SICK of being reffered to as MINI FRED (freds not his actuall name) the socially awkward short skinny crooked nosed stuttering hunchbacked version of "fred"! Any girl I meet and end up bring to my house will just see my brother, see that hes an improved version of me and lose all inerest in me. My brothers able to have fun anywhere, hes socially and emotionally free and im not. ANything ive ever done hes done better and thats the only way i can see things happening. Knowing the fact that im the "runt of the litter" makes me furious. FUCK THIS
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Old 08-20-10, 10:14 PM   #2
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I think it is time for you to leave the shadows and just be happy with who you are! Seems that your own brother is not mean to you and you are the one putting pressure on your own self!

Isn't time to be kind to yourself? Thank God you are different, thank God people are different!!! Don't compare yourself to your brother or anyone. It's not healthy and unnecessary.
Put your qualities out there! Discover who you are and who you can be! Don't spend your life thinking how your brother is awesome while your own life is passing by.

I wish you all the luck.
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Old 08-20-10, 10:32 PM   #3
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I have a older sister who thinks shes queen. We dont get along and I spend alot of time trying to knock down her attitude a few notches when shes gets her attitude going. Like today she was bitchin about some of my stuff and I said why do you think your better then everyone? Your not your worse then everyone.

Im not saying you should do this to your brother. My sister makes a point to let everyone knows shes top dog.

What really bothers me is my cousin. Hes a little older then me, looks like me and he pretty much said fuck all you to everyone in my extended family yet every thinks hes the greatest thing ever and Im a sum ball.
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Old 08-20-10, 10:34 PM   #4
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it must be hard if you're always compared to him. who calls u "mini fred"?
i think u should try to be your own person and not your brother. as u get a bit older, you'll probably be a bit further apart, especially if one or both of u get married & have your own family. .
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Old 08-20-10, 10:46 PM   #5
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I know the feeling man. My brother is a doctor and makes GOBS of money. He lives in a 400k house, drives a 70k car... whereas I live in a crummy apartment and am currently unemployed.

The thing is though... as hard as it is... you can't compare yourself to anyone... and that includes siblings.

YOU are a unique individual. there is only one of you in the entire universe. You are on your own journey with completely different experiences awaiting you than your brother will have on his journey.

I totally know where you are coming from in all this, but trust me... every second you waste comparing yourself to your brother is a second you aren't living your life.
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Old 02-10-13, 02:35 PM   #6
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My Younger Brother is Bright, happy all the time and the center of attention, hes always over-shadowed me since a young age, while it took me a time to learn something he could breeze through it like in secoundary school, though I am the oldest the teachers just call me his older brother, Hes better than me in nearly everything but history but weaker than me though I dislike fighting since I know if I do this my parents will side with him, he always loves showing off his intellectual superiority compared to me, hes annoying and the only thing that keeps me going is that my father always tells me "Though he is smart no one likes someone who acts Superior to them, most especially a job interviewer"
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Old 07-25-15, 10:14 PM   #7
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Simcoven102 View Post
My Younger Brother is Bright, happy all the time and the center of attention, hes always over-shadowed me since a young age, while it took me a time to learn something he could breeze through it like in secoundary school, though I am the oldest the teachers just call me his older brother, Hes better than me in nearly everything but history but weaker than me though I dislike fighting since I know if I do this my parents will side with him, he always loves showing off his intellectual superiority compared to me, hes annoying and the only thing that keeps me going is that my father always tells me "Though he is smart no one likes someone who acts Superior to them, most especially a job interviewer"
i really like that quote that your father said regarding your brother
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Old 07-26-15, 04:02 PM   #8
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Join the club. My big sister is Ms. Perfect. She has a great career making about 69K, car, condo, big screen TV, etc. I live with my family still. She also has about 20 friends. I'm lucky if I can say I have three friends. She's also skinny and I'm chubby.

She criticizes me a TON and constantly pressures me to do stupid and farfetched things to get back in the game, like telling me to start a business. She even got me involved in some pyramid scheme at one point by bugging me and bugging me.

For years I thought to myself "well at this point she's the favorite and it will take years to turn the tables." But I saw something on a show: "your mother has a Jenna account and a separate Jane account. You two are totally different people. So of course she doesn't have a favorite."

Find ways to differentiate yourself from your brother. They don't have to be spectacular like learning German (only for him to learn it better). It could be something as simple as the type of music you listen to. Craft a persona and a separate set of interests, and most especially, personal beliefs.

I hope that helps.
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Old 07-26-15, 06:49 PM   #9
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I understand. I felt that way about my birth sister. My birth mom and dad loved her. In fact they kept her and gave me up. (They only wanted 1 girl) I have gotten to a point where I remember her flaws. And that no matter what I will never be her. I tend to keep to myself. I just hope I can be happy and live a good life.

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