Numb.
Take This Life  

Go Back   Take This Life > Challenges > Feeding the Fire > Depression Poetry


Numb.

This is a discussion on Numb. within the Depression Poetry forums, part of the Feeding the Fire category; I live in a world far away from the sea Where I see very little and nothing sees me And ...

join us
Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 07-19-14, 11:07 PM   #1
New Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 2
Default Numb.

I live in a world far away from the sea
Where I see very little and nothing sees me
And that is how it seems it will be
A life void of feeling, a cage made of trees
Whose branches reach so high I'll never be free

Except there's a door, and I have the key.

What if I opened it? What if I stepped out into the world?
Bags packed, and slowly made my way to the coast
Where I would balance, walking the tightrope
My final performance.
For one night only, I test the waters.

One foot curled tightly round a steel edge
But the water's too cold, too fresh
Too raw for my own delicate
Pride to endure.

And so I recoil, standing there for a while
Watching the oceans moving as one
Inviting me in, but not caring if I stay or leave
Do I run, or jump?

In an instant I let go and dive
Headfirst, no forethought or planning involved
And the rush is electric
And my heart starts to sing
As fingertips touch and I'm finally free.

Well, that is the dream.

They say dreams are key
To progress and to beauty
But, not for me

No, dreams are my own stagnant pool
My own oil slick, so thick I can't move
Persistent and angry
Lit by my own desire to be free
From the depths of personal sabotage and treachery

Crack the whip master, roar if you please
Set light to the oceans and burn all the trees
Black smoke fills the air and I no longer see
What's waiting, coiled, ready
Like a loaded spring

It's a trap and I'm scared
Or God-giving I would be
If I were even brave enough
To feel anything.
amz9388 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-31-14, 06:53 AM   #2
New Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 37
Default

You seem very intelligent and self aware. I wonder what traps have you set for yourself, and what, if any, are really there? That is not to say that I don't think there are real traps, or that your own feelings (traps) are invalid in any way. :)
mush is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 07-31-14, 08:28 PM   #3
Junior Member
 
Purpose's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Arizona
Posts: 110
Default

This is a great piece!
__________________
Survive.
Purpose is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-07-14, 05:37 AM   #4
Junior Member
 
Darcio's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2014
Location: Oklahoma
Posts: 73
My Mood:
Default

That. was. BEAUTIFUL!
I have no words to describe this except: WOA!
You have amazing skill as a poet sir/madam. *bows*
Darcio is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 10-10-15, 07:10 AM   #5
New Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2014
Posts: 2
Default

Wow, I only just saw these replies. Thank-you. Its so interesting to hear people's feedback on this poem, I wrote it at a time when I was given some perspective on my personal journey with depression... it's still a road that I'm travelling along, but I have come a long way and am enjoying the healing process. Wherever any of you are, I send you all the health, laughter and love I can.
amz9388 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 11-23-16, 03:22 PM   #6
New Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2016
Posts: 6
Default

In the third last paragraph it comes to a crescendo my fave part. You obviously have a creative gift, if I wasnt drunk I would volunteer some of my own. I hope u keep it up, an outlet works wonders for the mind
Salt is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT -5. The time now is 11:16 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.8
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
vBulletin Security provided by vBSecurity v2.2.2 (Pro) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2017 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
Shoutbox provided by vBShout v6.2.1 (Lite) - vBulletin Mods & Addons Copyright © 2017 DragonByte Technologies Ltd.
 

Content Relevant URLs by vBSEO 3.3.2