From my life experience.........

[sun shine]

This picture take me to write a my life experience

Here's my story

From school days one of my friend know I'm into tech stuff so he asked software, writing cds & prices about computer components It' ok

But 4 month ago real annoying thing start

It started like this one day he called me & ask can u come with me to buy a new computer I said sure (coz he's my childhood friend )

Then I went to his place for set up computer & software.

Then he call & ask for set internet so I went his place for install router

Then he called me & told he can't play games screen is turning to black when he's playing games I said call & tell this to computer shop & claim warranty for VGA(WTF I can do for his VGA is not working properly)

After He called & tell me his internet connection was lost & can u come I said call ISP but he said ISP people can't recognize the bug so I went to his place even I couldn't understand the error so he call ISP again & fix that (ISP - Internet Service Provider)

Recently he's calling me and asking to update his software.

Last Sunday he called but I was in sleep that time I didn't call him back coz I know if I call back he's telling can you come/

In past 4 month I went to 4 times for his work

Can you imagine how much technical guy get paid for these stuff I did all this for free.

I'm not selfish I am willing to help people (people took advantage from my these qualities) but I am still studying & can't always go for his stuff people have to understand not to give troubles to other people asking for help.

He's one of selfish friend that I have he only call when he need help. I remembered long time ago one of computer lectures in our school said when you are good at tech stuff people will use you for their needs. It's so true.

Hope you got something from story I'm not saying don't help. Help people but you have to understand the risk of falling into this situation so keep your limits when you are helping.

I had bunch of selfish friend & still have some of them they only come when they need help but If I need help they will go away.

This world is cruel & most of people are selfish

Thinking about these little things make my depression go high

(Sorry if this is so long).

[OldLady]

Isn't it crappy when people ONLY come to you when they need something?

I'm like you. I don't mind helping friends (even if I'm not as technologically advanced as you are), but I also expect THEM to be putting something into the relationship as well!

What's funny is that they don't even realize they are USING you! If you say something to them, they try to make you feel like you are in the wrong.

So yeah, I get it.

What's funny is there's a lot of really nice people out there. You help them do their thing, they ask you over for dinner, make you a batch of cookies, etc. to "pay you back."

Hard though it may be, it sounds like an honest conversation is in order ... along the lines of mentioning that you are feeling used ... and can't really help them anymore.

[gosurori]

That's very true. It didn't happen to me but I try not to do it. I know a lot about computer; I mean just enough to help myself. And I have to friends working in IT. I never invited them to help me with computer stuff. You're right to be annoyed. It feels like being used.

This is also true for workplace. You shouldn't show people what you are capable of doing. Then people will use you.

[sun shine]

Originally Posted by OldLady

Isn't it crappy when people ONLY come to you when they need something?

I'm like you. I don't mind helping friends (even if I'm not as technologically advanced as you are), but I also expect THEM to be putting something into the relationship as well!

What's funny is that they don't even realize they are USING you! If you say something to them, they try to make you feel like you are in the wrong.

So yeah, I get it.

What's funny is there's a lot of really nice people out there. You help them do their thing, they ask you over for dinner, make you a batch of cookies, etc. to "pay you back."

Hard though it may be, it sounds like an honest conversation is in order ... along the lines of mentioning that you are feeling used ... and can't really help them anymore.

Yes it's crappy & called selfish

I know all people are not same I don't mind they haven't put something back but this situation is annoying

yes I know there are really nice people but people I found most were selfish

[sun shine]

Originally Posted by gosurori

That's very true. It didn't happen to me but I try not to do it. I know a lot about computer; I mean just enough to help myself. And I have to friends working in IT. I never invited them to help me with computer stuff. You're right to be annoyed. It feels like being used.

This is also true for workplace. You shouldn't show people what you are capable of doing. Then people will use you.

ya It feels like being used those are selfish friends

good thing is this help me to identify people & I learn a lesson from this

By experience we can learn lot

[gosurori]

Wouldn't it be reallyyy nice if this was the biggest problem of all of us =) Just selfish people and nothing more... =)

[sun shine]

yup

In reality it's not the biggest problem but it's a big problem

[gosurori]

Normally I'd just ignore the person (it has happened to me in college during finals - some girl kept asking me for lesson notes, without even saying hello), but you say the person is your childhood friend... so that's tough. I know a silly solution, though. The next time he calls you, why don't you mess around with his computer? Nothing serious, not a permanent damage but something that would make him think that you don't really know about computers... Does that sounds so awful? =)

[sun shine]

Originally Posted by gosurori

Normally I'd just ignore the person (it has happened to me in college during finals - some girl kept asking me for lesson notes, without even saying hello), but you say the person is your childhood friend... so that's tough. I know a silly solution, though. The next time he calls you, why don't you mess around with his computer? Nothing serious, not a permanent damage but something that would make him think that you don't really know about computers... Does that sounds so awful? =)

I can do it easily by deleting system files in Operating System or other method but thing is I not that rude I know how I worry when my computer broke down He will feel the same. I believe in computer ethics "Don't use your knowledge to harm others"(This will apply to life as well) So I can't do that. "What goes around comes around"

[gosurori]

Well it was just a silly suggestion. I couldn't do it either =) It is also a code of Asimov's Law of Robotics and the oath of doctors ehehe