It hurts
This is my first thread on here other than on the introductions forum.
Everything hurts at the minute. I was having a really rough time even before this weekend, just finding everything difficult to handle, everyday things were a struggle, any time I was alone I ended up in huge sobbing tears. Despair I think describes it pretty accurately. Stupid scary thoughts crossing my mind.
Then, weekend just gone my boyfriend broke up with me, completely out of the blue, I had absolutely no idea that he had any doubts about us at all and it hurts. It all hurts so much. I'd only been with him about 5 months but i really felt like nobody had ever understood me like he did, he just seemed to know me, and I him. But it seems this wasn't enough for him to be in love with me. He said he loves me but not in love with me and can't see us ending up together. Is 5 months too soon to be making such decisions?
Why must life hurt so. Work is taking a back seat as I can't cope with everything there. Didn't go in Monday or Tuesday. Went back today but got sent home early due to snow - which was no bad thing.
Really, I feel like I shouldn't be down, low, depressed, whatever. What really do I have to make me feel like this? Nothing. My family love me, I earn enough money to keep me going, I have a good friend who cares about me to the end of the earth. But that doesn't seem to be enough for me. Will it ever be? will I always feel like this?
How can I make things seem better. I just want everything to stop. Everything.
Ramble over.
Gerbera
__________________
Alone we've got nothing, or haven't your heard? I guess we're just two wounded birds.
|
the bottom line is you want to find someone special... there is nothing wrong or abnormal about this,... who wants to ultimately end up alone is practically unheard of. i can only encourage you to keep going and not give up on bringing someone special into your life.
