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Old 02-24-2010, 01:33 AM   #1
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I wrote this after another girl i liked took off. I usually play in thrash or death metal or crust punk bands so this song is a bit off for my writing. And id say Novice in this style. but i never tried to edit or fix it like i do with songs for my bands....anyways here it is

I see in your eyes, the pain that came with it
Now im feeling the pain, and watching you go

but are the trees and the mountains
enough to contain it
you want something new and are ready to go

stuck in a cage
i wish i could free
but only time will release
the door of the cell

but i'll be waiting the day
the doors slide free
waiting to hold and lay with you again

So i'll remember the time and nights together
you hair in my face
and legs bare

your smile and laugh
eyes seem glowing
if only i knew youd be gone so soon

i would have held you forever
instead im sitting
in a shadow of life i once knew

so ill run and ill hide
and keep everyone away
they have nothing to offer but heartache and pain
and ill drink to forget your face from my mind
but ill remember the good times we had at night

your legs around me your smile and laugh
i still remember the taste of your lips

so now im waiting
for the lights to return
the nights seem so long
dark and alone



thats all i have so far for it but ill probably stop writing it.
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Old 02-25-2010, 09:34 PM   #2
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I think it sounded fantastic just as it is but if you want to add more too it I would love to hear it. Your poems are beautiful.
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