My Little Boy - My First Poem
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My Little Boy - My First Poem

This is a discussion on My Little Boy - My First Poem within the Creative Writing forums, part of the Diversions category; My Little Boy Picture taken from :- http://freedom4bill.com/wp-content/u...d-son-rise.jpg One day beautiful angle came to me She whisper a secret to ...

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Old 09-26-2010, 03:33 PM   #1
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My Little Boy


Picture taken from :- http://freedom4bill.com/wp-content/u...d-son-rise.jpg



One day beautiful angle came to me
She whisper a secret to me
Days went pass I count my fingers

One lovely morning you were born
I am so proud and happy
all my sorrows seems to be gone

When you smile I smile with you
When you cry I cry with you
I saw you are growing day by day

You make me reason to live
You are the most amazing gift I got
I love you forever my little boy




This is the first poem that I have written maybe not good (I think that way maybe I'm too depressive to think positive) any feedback would be appropriate
Last edited by sun shine; 09-26-2010 at 03:36 PM.
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Old 09-26-2010, 10:01 PM   #2
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How sweet...you really evoke a mother's love. Keep writing!
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Old 09-28-2010, 06:42 PM   #3
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it's quite good, just a lot of grammar mistakes. but don't mind me, i'm the grammar police and everyone hates me for it.
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To use one's imagination is to be free of reality's limits.


Every year is made of months,
every month is made of weeks,
every week is made of days,
every day is made of hours,
every hour is made of minutes,
every minute is made of seconds,
every second is a moment,
a moment that could last forever.
These are what we call memories.
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Old 09-28-2010, 10:58 PM   #4
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How sweet...you really evoke a mother's love. Keep writing!
thanks actually it's about father's love
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Old 09-28-2010, 11:06 PM   #5
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it's quite good, just a lot of grammar mistakes. but don't mind me, i'm the grammar police and everyone hates me for it.
thanks

the grammar police lol

feedback include both pros and cons so it's ok to point out mistakes too

My native language is not English. I'm still learning English Sorry for the grammar mistakes
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