losing faith

Blue Girl · 06-19-2009, 04:12 PM

i am. that string i've been hanging by is getting thinner. there are so many doubts i have. it's so hard to talk about. . i don't know. i don't know anything at this point. i feel abandoned by people, abandoned by God. not sure He exists. i think He does, but i really feel i need more to truly believe it. and if He exists, I don't know if He cares about me. i just don't know anymore. .. i may wind up in the Agnostic section soon, if we have one. i think that's the term for someone who feels there isn't enough proof either way? IDK. i feel i belong in this section right now, but i don't know for how long. ..

silent cry · 06-19-2009, 04:28 PM

im totally with you BG.
gemma tries to do bible studies with me- but im just finding it so hard to get my head round cus i dont know if i believe it or not anymore- i think i still believe sometimes, but other times i doubt it all. today we looked at God being just and loving- so our sins will be punished. and i asked how believeing in what Jesus did on the cross gets us off the hook from punishment- why should just believing be enough for us not to be punished? she couldnt answer it

Lectriczingers · 06-19-2009, 06:48 PM

I think it is very easy to transferr our feelings of abandonment from experiences with people to an experience with God. The inherent danger in that, of course, is that God is not like people.

To answer your question, silent... the reason Jesus' sacrifice gets us "off the hook" for our sins is because God set up a system by which the universe is governed. They were his rules from the very beginning, and he was the one who wanted to create a way for the ridge between himself (perfect and divine) and his people (fallen, broken, in short not perfect like him) to be reconciled. He created the rules, so he has the authority and power to fulfill them by having someone take punishment in our place. That's his privilige.

I think the question "why should just believing be enough" might have been a hard one for Gemma because.... well.... belief seems too easy. It seems like too small a price to pay for us to have communion with God.... when people demand such a high price from us sometimes for things we need from them. Like, for example, forgiveness.... love.... compassion... pity.... closeness.... desire.

I'm not trying to pretend like I can solve a person's struggle to believe by saying what I have said. I just want to say that I can see how a person would struggle with their faith if they too closely imagined God to be like a person. Because God is not a human being. And that is a very good thing for us, even us doubters.

The word "holy" means "set apart". It pretty much means "different". God is different from us. That should be a source of great hope. If it's not right now, that's okay. But I think it is a good thing to remember, and to spend some time thinking about.

lz

Blue Girl · 06-19-2009, 07:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lectriczingers

I think it is very easy to transferr our feelings of abandonment from experiences with people to an experience with God. The inherent danger in that, of course, is that God is not like people.

i just don't feel right, too unconnected. i've always felt it to some degree, even way before i had people problems. even when i was strongest in my walk and willing to put God first in everything, i still felt something was eluding me.

totallyamazed · 06-19-2009, 07:09 PM

It's like a leap of faith Blue...I think that is what is eluding you...Faith...it's very simple yet so hard...One has to have Faith that God knows what is best...We do this by living our lives to the best of our ability to serve a greater purpose...What God wants for us...it's not always an easy thing to do and that is where the faith part comes in...I'm by NO means a Biblical Scholar but I am a believer and it's my faith that carries me thru!...It will you too!!

(((((((((((Blue Girl)))))))))))))))

Blue Girl · 06-19-2009, 07:26 PM

at one point i had faith. but i think i messed up by trusting some wrong things. but i don't understand how i did that when God was so very important to me. i always felt i was doing something wrong, could never figure it out even after seriouos soul-searching. i just always felt there was something wrong.

totallyamazed · 06-19-2009, 07:36 PM

Sweetie thats your depression talking...God is always there for you(for us)...It's just really difficult sometimes when we are depressed to see beyond our own nose!

I know your struggeling right now with everything...And you don't feel comfortable with your church atm...Don't let your lack of faith in a particular situation (current church..lonliness...) stop your faith in God...I really don't want to come off as a thumper LOL but faith has gotten me thru some very dark times and while it may seem to you that your faith has lessoned believe in the part of you that still knows God and all that he/she can do...Don't let your church determine your faith...I don't know if I'm making any sense but I've run across situations where ppl and churches weren't doing a damn thing for me but I decided to have an up close and personal relationship with God and ever sense then my faith has been alot stronger!

Focus on the things you are grateful about..dd..your health..your family...those are the truly important things...

Blue Girl · 06-19-2009, 07:38 PM

thanks, TA, i'm going to have to think more about it later. i didn't think i had depression way back then, but it's possible.

totallyamazed · 06-19-2009, 08:05 PM

You've got a big heart Blue...and Your dealing with alot of isolation ...that would make anyone wonder and question there beliefs...Your not alone in your search and don't get discouraged it takes time and sometimes alot of lessons ( at least it did me) to finally say "OK God...I give up...Here is my life... do what you will"
I swear that was the epiphany for me...but it's different for everyone

I wish you the best of luck and good fortune on your journey with God...Don't underestimate how much God loves you!

Blue Girl · 06-20-2009, 08:07 PM

thank you, TA. i just feel hopeless, though.

and thank u, too, silent. sorry, didn't mean to skip u. i hope we both figure it out

((((((((((TA)))))))))))
((((((((((SC)))))))))))
((((((((((LZ))))))))))))