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This is a discussion on woo! within the Bipolar forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; freaking awesome day! i went from being a crab to...hmmm..a manta ray jumping out of the ocean?! rearranged my whole ...

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Old 02-26-15, 09:21 PM   #1
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freaking awesome day! i went from being a crab to...hmmm..a manta ray jumping out of the ocean?!
rearranged my whole living room...before anyone got up. it is more airy, more space to move around. dogs and cats sliding all over from full out runs!( as in running..not the other kind ;)
i think i forgot to eat cause then i got all cold and shaky and had to cuddle up to a heat pad..and the dogs piled on me like they knew. but i got some coconut water at the store and i felt better. and i treated myself to some "fake" cheese ( soy cheese...did not want to read all the weird ingredients!) and made a homemade pizza, whole wheat crust, thin sliced tomatoes, mushrooms, peppers, zucchini, red onion and black olive. usually i grate zucchini for the cheese but i was indulging myself for the hard work. ( a schrunk...i moved it myself!)
think i will have some tea so I can relax..feeling happy as a clam today! all the ocean metaphors lol
i am gonna enjoy it while it lasts!
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Old 02-27-15, 04:08 AM   #2
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Nice to hear tess!!!!!! Keep it up! :)
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Old 03-03-15, 10:36 AM   #3
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Not so woo now :/ over did it. Will I ever learn? Probably not. It's too much fun having energy after having physical limitation for a while ( almost a year since my first carpal tunnel surgery)
Also I told everyone I don't want to talk or anything and this time thankfully, no messages, no phone calls to ignore. It's a relief. No facebook, no social anything and I feel calm. Because I worry too much about people I see and hear from all the time. Because everyone thinks I'm this strong rock they can lay their burdens on. Because I survived the nuthouse. Like I have some kind of secret knowledge. Seriously, the people I used to hang out with always told me their secret problems and then were like ' don't say anything'. Cannot stand that! I can feel conflict in a room and I don't want to be there.
So right now, it's quiet and I feel like a hobbit just enjoying the peace. There's no tug of war between time spent taking care of family or friends needing me.
Maybe some people are better off with just family? Maybe introvert time is good :) I hope it goes on forever :)
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Old 03-03-15, 11:43 AM   #4
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(((((((((((((((((((((tess))))))))))))))))))))
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Old 03-07-15, 07:49 PM   #5
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well i brought hellfire down on me! my son is in the nuthouse. my truck broke and repairs were more expensive than what I owed. it broke in the middle of the night while i we were driving through the desert. in the middle of nowhere. my other son's came to help, and a tow truck.
so i was freaking out for while, haven't eaten in awhile. because i couldn't get my son out.
i actually was hyperventilating and my heart was racing. all week i have been crying and arguing with docs.
today i shut myself in my room with my headphones and some meditation app.
and then everything was ok.
my son said he wasn't so freaked out anymore and can actually handle his emergency detainment. so that made me calmer, not happy, but kind of this relieved blankness.
then instead of trying to find a way for expensive repairs on a old truck, that would break again( it has issues) I called the dealership and asked them if they take vehicles that need mechanical repair as trade ins. And they did. so within the space of 3 hours, i got a new truck. they paid off my old one and took it.
so i can drive one son to work. and i can get groceries, and i can take people to the doctor, and where ever they want to go and i can visit my son in the nuthouse.
while i was flailing around in my head, i missed the fact that everything will be ok.
i am ok now. this is just a little part of my life, and it's not permanent.
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Old 03-08-15, 06:09 AM   #6
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I am sorry for bad stuff happening, but i am really happy that you are overcoming them. You are strong, tess. (((((((((((((((((((((((tess))))))))))))))))))))))) ))))
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Old 03-10-15, 07:56 PM   #7
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thanks :) He might be getting out soon. I have been worried about him for awhile. too much online games. just out of high school and I didn't realize how freaked out he was. He hides it well, and i believed everything he said, even though i had my suspicions. I was hoping he was just going through a readjustment period, but it ended up way more intense. ( I read his messages after he was admitted. Then I told him I read them so I could understand, and he wasn't mad. I think he just was trying to act like nothing affected him..online drama, people freaking out, to include me, etc.)
now i am preparing for his return, looking up psychiatrists in our health network, and making sure my house is a sanctuary. His doctors won't call me or return my calls, cause he's officially an adult. I wanted to discuss if maybe it excessive internet was a factor. I mean he was to the point I was telling him to shower. and he lost weight. I can understand wanting to escape from this reality of job hunting and being turned down, and watching his best friend from high school get married and have a baby, t was discouraging. And online life was so much more appealing. And when the bottom fell out of that, he just had crazy mom and the rest of us. So yeah, I can understand that. I need to talk to his doc and see what to do. My instincts tell me, restore computer and put a password on it so he has no access, turn off and hide his iPad. But I really don't know if that would make things worse. His brothers are already making plans to take him to the movies and get him to hang out with them. he's the youngest. And they get along pretty good. I wonder sometimes if gaming is nature and nurture. Dad's a gamer, has been forever. His brothers are gamer-isn. They have other hobbies and work( except one, Asperger's, he's terrified to work again. bad experience)
But thank you for the encouragement. I will keep on, keeping on :) And I will support him and hopefully get him to thrive in reality.
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