well, to be honest ive known for a few months now, but now i know for sure.
my mum told my dad to leave the house today, court ordered too so he legally has to leave, and basically before he left we talked a little about whats wrong with her.
she always seems to swing from cheery and motherly to down right bat shit insane, which in a way tears the family to shreds, my dad told me he always knew but she refuses to admit that theres anything wrong with her.
he also mentioned that her mother was also very badly mentally ill, to the point where she couldnt even leave the house.
im assuming its been passed onto me, its not as severe as hers, but i have noticed its worsening, it used to be mild states of being down and up, but the swings get more intense now, and more often.
i dont know where to go from here, i just turned 18 i dont know where to go anywhere and its all my responsibility, im not a baby any more and i cant even rely on my mother like i always have to help me with these things, i just dont want to tell her. i dont want to tell anyone it will just cause problems. what do i do please, all that runs through my soul is a yearning to just shoot myself in the heart because it relaxes me knowing i can, and thats where the source of it all is

Hi Oceans and welcome to TTL!

I do not have first hand experience with Bi-Polar,but just wanted to let you know you are not alone. There are some members here who'd be able to offer you the right support and help you feel a bit better at least.
Do you have anyone to talk to? How was your mum supported? If she's aware of yours,maybe she can help you since she understands it?
Whatever the case,just know that you'd get some support here so you don't have to struggle alone

oceans - First off all, another warm welcome to the TTL Community!

Bio-polar is a condition that can be treated. It's managed through drugs and therapy. While I don't personally suffer from it, a dear friend of mine did. (she moved just to let you know). So, I am going off of what she shared with myself and the experiences I (personally) had with her. She had the 'roller coaster rides' with it at times and was very emotional at times as well. It's not anything that you can't find information about. Read up on it. Talk to people that suffer with it and things that have helped them cope with it. Finding out all the infomation you're able, is the best way(s) to help yourself. In the mean time, we'll be here to support, care, and listen.

i had a breakdown at 17 down to bipolar running in my family. I guess i had worst kind type one, where i had a psychotic breakdown. my dysfunctional upbringing was to blame.

I suggest first thing first - Forget the label, just understand it is a condition which can be overcome.

There is a book called - bipolar advantage.

Take your medication at all times. There will come a time that you will be medication free.

Its not your fault - it is genetic. People do not understand it and thats the biggest hurdle not the condition itself.

heres somne advice to start.stay hopeful x