Too anxious to leave my room
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Too anxious to leave my room

This is a discussion on Too anxious to leave my room within the Anxiety forums, part of the Mental and Physical Health category; I just feel so ashamed of living here, my parents know I depend on them for quite a lot. and ...

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Old 05-26-12, 10:37 AM   #1
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I just feel so ashamed of living here, my parents know I depend on them for quite a lot. and they hate me for it, they dont like me "lazing around" all day in my room and asleep in my bed. But its not my fault I feel this bad :(

I try to distract myself with computer games and my Xbox...which they see as just not trying, and taking advantage. I get so anxious when I want to go downstairs, just to get a drink or some food. Because I think they will just be looking at me, getting angry, eyes of disappointment. I get so worried my breathing starts to act up, since I have asthma it gets worse sometimes.

I just dont know how to get rid of these feelings....I get so hungry as I just dont want to leave my room to go and get something to eat. I have to wait until I know they are not here or they are in their room about to sleep. I know its stupid...and I know I should just go and eat....but I just get so worried about them and what they are thinking....

I'm pretty sure I have lost weight over the last few weeks as well.....
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Old 05-26-12, 11:23 AM   #2
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hey twintigers,
i can relate to parents being not there for a child in need of support, emotional and caring support. its just tough for a child to live with parents like that. the real solution for you is to move out and be on your own path. thats easy for me to say because i haven't done it. it takes a lot of courage to move out on your own into the vast unknow world and have to pay bills and rent and take full care of yourself and your future partner. all of that take a lot of risk taking but if your current situation is bad enough, its worth a shot.
i regret not moving out sooner, totally embarrassed about it. life is a challenge and a risk, your parents took a risk by getting together and making you, so does the rest of the world, i wish us depressed people would gather some courage and take some life risks once in a while. but don't over do it of course.
i really don't know how old you are so i can't suggest out right to move out right now, but maybe in the future if you really want to. that'll allow you to think for yourself and make your own decisions. take the bull called life by the horns and steer it wherever your interests lie. interests don't matter though if you don't feel like you have any, once you are out there, life will show you a direction one way or another. but being our own person, we must. thats if we aren't totally disabled, then of course you need help from wherever you could get it.
but if in the future, you are capable and want to take your life in your own hands, by all means move the heck out. if you parents cant see what you are going through and don't want to help you, then they are worthless and pathetic people. you need not feel guilt or discomfort over what goes on in their pathetic little minds. they aren't perfect people, they haven't done everything right in their life, they have done worse things than a person in your state could ever dream of doing. so its alright to feel nagatively towards those uncaring people.
the idea truely is that you yourself need to become stronger, emotionally and physically to be able to become independant. that means you do need to try to give up the chatting, games, the constant focus on your minds issues. when you have a depressed brain, you don't want to give it more things to be depressed about, you want to lesson the depression by doing things that help your depression symptoms.
as much as you think xbox or internet time help you, sometimes it makes things worse. you find more things to worry about and add to your overall depression that way. what the depressed mind needs is to be free of these distractions and focus on getting the body and the mind healthy.
with a good helpful diet. eat your greens, veges and fruits daily, no matter what, walk or exercise daily so your body keeps functioning and moving when you want it to, try to be social with small talk amongst kids your age. don't hate yourself if someone doesn't talk to you or says something bad to you. if they do that, thats their problem. they prove how immoral and unfriendly they are just as your parents prove how bad they are being by treating you this way.
you need love and affection. i'm sorry that you aren't getting it from your parents, but then you have to seek it somewhere else. join a school group or something. try and try and try something healthy to help yourself. be curageous. we can talk to you and comfort you from your problems whenever you like but you have to have the courage to try things we tell you or the good things that you tell yourself. your life wont improve by locking yourself up in a room. it'll slowly improve by getting out of the house and walking around and seeing things in nature, seeing the way society behaves. that will slowly help you. don't let depression and asthma take everything away from you. these problems can be overcome and you should try your best to overcome them. i hope you try different things and get well soon. wish you the best of luck.
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Old 05-29-12, 09:50 AM   #3
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Hi, there!

I'm so sorry to hear that you're having such a rough go. Though I don't know you personally, I can tell, just from all the help you've given me on here that you're such a kind, selfless person that you certainly don't deserve that sort of treatment from your parents.

I certainly know what it's like to feel beholden to your parents- after my incidient at the end of university, I had to come back and live with my father. I was planning to interview for some internships or arrange some travel plans, but my time in hospital caused me to miss many crucial interviews and deadlines that were all within a few days, so I've ended up back home. I'm fortunate enough to have a father who's been very supportive- I cannot imagine what it'd be like if he seemed unhappy to have me here!

I wish with all I've got that I could give you more advice, but sadly, I'm so inexperienced yet. All I can tell you is that we really love you here, and we understand what you're going through, so just try to keep strong, and I'm sure- I KNOW- that everything will be all right soon. Meantime... and I know I almost don't dare suggest it, what with the anxiety it sometimes causes me, but the best thing for me has been to go out. Even if it's just for a brief stroll, shopping, or even taking some form of distraction outdoors, like a book or drawing or listening to music on a player or the like, the change of scenery (though tis so hard to bring myself to get out of my room to do it) makes all the difference in the world. It's almost as though when you step out for a bit, even if something unpleasant happens (like the times I've had panic attacks), you leave a bit of the bad stuff behind you wherever you go. Releases a lot of pent up energy, and almost always leaves me feeling better- even if it's nae but a wee bit, it's an improvement!

Keep strong and never give up! You deserve much happiness.
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Old 05-29-12, 12:44 PM   #4
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sorry you are feeling so anxious and home is difficult for you, it sounds really stressful. is there any other family or friends you could stay with, or is moving out a possibility?
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Old 05-31-12, 11:14 AM   #5
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Moving out is a long shot, I would need to get a full time job to be able to afford it, as rent in my area is stupidly high. And I have pretty much been around all the other family members I can, I have moved a couple of times in the last year and a half, It didnt work with my father because of my step mother, it didnt work with my aunt and uncle because I was so distracted/pent up over the fact my step mother had kicked me out and my father was blinded by love and let her.

I basically go from place to place, just running away from my problems. This is the last place I can really stay in terms of family. And every time my mother or step-father mentions the word "job" i get really anxious, and sudden fears of failure just jump right into my head. I dont know really...my chest gets tight, my asthma starts to flare up slightly, and yet, thats only when my parents mention it. When I think about a job, its not as bad.

I dont know.....today has not been a good day....I'll probably post more at a later time.

But thank you all for your replies :) means a lot to me that you have posted.

*Tiger Hugs*
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Old 05-31-12, 11:37 AM   #6
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I'm sorry to hear about your predicament. That sounds difficult.

Are you able to talk to your parents about your condition and your nervousness around them?

Are you able to see a shrink to get anti-depressants?
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Old 05-31-12, 11:42 AM   #7
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I've tried to talk to them about the depression, I have not mentioned the anxiety and lack of being able to go get food, it has been better over the last couple of days, me and my mother sort of had the start of an argument, I then walked out of the house, She followed me in the car and started talking to me outside.

It ended up being the case where I told her about the suicidal stuff and that we agreed she did not understand my mentality in most cases. Since her original response was to "Get over it" when I went to see the Doc about stuff.

And I am already on Anti-depressants, Sertraline Hydrochloride, or Zoloft. They are helping but its not a cure unfortunately. Among with other things happening today I just feel like falling asleep and not waking up for a year or two, maybe then all my Anxiety and depression and fear would be gone.

I want to drink so bad....promised I wouldnt :(

I feel like spilling all my guts into this chat box, but since this is the anxiety section, I'll just end it here. Maybe post somewhere else. I don't know anymore.
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Old 06-02-12, 08:22 AM   #8
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Currently sitting in my room listening to my parents argue. As they have been for the last few days. Luckily I anticipates this and got some food and drink the other day. So I don't have to leave my room. I feel so anxious, paranoid even. I know they are arguing partly because of me. It's awful :(

I just really don't want to be here right now. Listening to music doesn't help as whenever I hear their voices get louder I sturn the music down to hear them to see if it's about me. I'm just really panicky right now. What happens of they come in an shout at me?? I haven't done anything right lately. :(
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Old 06-02-12, 10:10 AM   #9
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Twin Tigers View Post
Currently sitting in my room listening to my parents argue. As they have been for the last few days. Luckily I anticipates this and got some food and drink the other day. So I don't have to leave my room. I feel so anxious, paranoid even. I know they are arguing partly because of me. It's awful :(
I just really don't want to be here right now. Listening to music doesn't help as whenever I hear their voices get louder I sturn the music down to hear them to see if it's about me. I'm just really panicky right now. What happens of they come in an shout at me?? I haven't done anything right lately. :(
Oh Tigers! I'm so sorry about this situation you're in and even more sorry that I cannot think of anything to say right now, besides telling you, I am here for you. I know that doesn't help the situation much... I'm sorry
You haven't done anything wrong,Tigers. It isn't your fault that you are depressed. Your parents don't know what it is like and so are not handling it right and giving you the support and understanding you need
I'm sorry you are going through this,Tigers
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Old 06-02-12, 11:52 AM   #10
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I'm so sorry to hear that you're having a rough go of it. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you to have to hear your parents arguing, especially if it involves you in some way. You don't deserve that at all- from other posts, it looks as though you're going through some very large and serious pain and you could use as much love and support as possible to help get through it. It angers me to think that your parents refuse to give it to you- as I've said before, I can't think of anyone more deserving of that much needed support than you, what with all the help you give others here on the forum in their times of need.

I know that we all grow so weary of being told to keep at it and stay strong, but I just know that you can get through this. Times might be looking dark for you right now, but I'm praying for you, and we're all really pulling for you here, and I know that it's not long coming now til you'll ride into the daylight.

Really hope things get better for you!

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