I would like to share my experience with social anxiety and how it manifests itself in me. I always feel that people who meet me or get to know me always have something against me, this goes for everyone that I meet, such as people I work with or went to school with, or anywhere where a person is going to see me more than once. For some reason I just feel that everyone dislikes me and has something against me, because they ignore me, reject me, exclude me, ostracize me, and I consider this a form of bullying. I was bullied throughout school, which led me to become depressed and anxious to this very day.
When I feel that everyone is ganging up against me, it brings back old feelings and emotions of when I was bullied in school and I get anxiety and panic attacks, like a form of PTSD. This makes it very hard for me to ever be around people. And so I am almost always by myself. This does not apply to strangers that I randomly meet, as one time encounters are always fine for the most part since it is the first and perhaps only time coming across these random individuals; it applies to people I have to be around, such as groups, work, school, anywhere where people will meet me and see me more than once. I feel that everyone has something against me and I can’t pinpoint why since I never did anything to these people. Everyone just dislikes me and I don’t know why. This has happened in every job I’ve had, every class I had, and every group I attend. And once I feel this, I begin to get depressed and more anxious, like there is something wrong with me or that I am the most horrible person in the world going by how people treat me. To put it in a nutshell, my social anxiety manifests itself by me feeling that everyone dislikes me and has something against me.
Can anyone else relate to this? That wherever you go, everyone dislikes you and has something against you?